Hi guys. Just wanted to say that Jerry Wise on YouTube has amazing advice on dealing with FOO (borderlines and narcs).
He uses tips from Margalis Fjelstad's book (that one is a life-saving book) and also from the Bowen family system therapy or something like that.
I watched many of his videos and then applied his advice in real life. A lot of the anxiety when interacting with FOO, especially NM has dropped significantly. I still want to hit my mother whenever she says something inappropriate but the anger is much less and I'm more able to look at her now as an abnormal person who should have gotten years of in-patient therapy somewhere in a private facility than as a normal, reasonable person.
I can say that his videos sobered me up and I can now see that I was manipulated into thinking my parents' thoughts and feeling their disturbing feelings and emotions. These emotions were forced upon me because of the dysfunction (shame and guilt are seen as the family system's feelings and are totally abnormal in a healthy family system).
xox
I can't wait to check the videos out. Thank you for sharing!
Yes I second this !
Jerry Wise has been SO helpful to me.
Lisa Romano too - especially when I am minimising my experience. She kinda wakes me up like a badass and reminds me what is and isn't ok !
I also came across Dr Richard Schwartz on inner family systems- about bringing home the " exiled " parts. I found it just at the moment I needed it and it was so soothing. All about inner child trauma / healing and how we look at the parts ie fear that had a role but how they function in us now as adults.
Hope it's OK to add that here !
Thanks so much! I will definitely look into them myself
Quote from: Sheppane on May 26, 2021, 04:11:32 PM
Yes I second this !
Jerry Wise has been SO helpful to me.
Lisa Romano too - especially when I am minimising my experience. She kinda wakes me up like a badass and reminds me what is and isn't ok !
I also came across Dr Richard Schwartz on inner family systems- about bringing home the " exiled " parts. I found it just at the moment I needed it and it was so soothing. All about inner child trauma / healing and how we look at the parts ie fear that had a role but how they function in us now as adults.
Hope it's OK to add that here !
Thanks for the suggestion. I'll look over his videos, family systems is an interesting topic to me.
Jerry Wise and his explanation of family systems has been of huge help to me. I can recommend him.
I'm a huge fan of Jerry Wise. His videos have been so helpful in my recovery.