Out of the FOG

The Other Sides of Us => Working on Us => Topic started by: blahblah on October 13, 2021, 06:18:58 AM

Title: A suggestion for everyone with trauma (also maybe for the BPD in your life)
Post by: blahblah on October 13, 2021, 06:18:58 AM
Hi. I posted quite a lot here a couple of years back.

Long story short:
Wife diagnosed with traits of BPD. Also anxiety. Marriage was SUPER difficult. Was pretty much alone with my 2 kids for a couple of years, because my wife was mentally away (or just plain abusive).
She then got help. Went through CAT-therapy (a version of DAT therapy). Saw therapists etc. She was really hard at work, working on her self. Very committed to working on herself getting better, for her own sake, but also for me and my kids sake. After a couple of years, when she was ready for it, we started seeing a very good couples counselor.
Things have gradually gotten better and better. (and they needed to, because life was hell).
Right now, I'm at the point where I am working on myself and learning that I don't have to hide my feelings from my wife anymore (showing anger etc, because doing so in the past was completely devastating, but now, is just more normal fighting).

Throughout all of this, I have had physical tensions in my gut. I usually wake up with a knot in my stomach. Lot's of unprocessed stuff.
So trying to go through all of that to get better.
If have found this, and just wanted to share:
TRE exercise.

I have done it for about 6 times now. Have had some pretty mind blowing experiences from it. The body surely keeps the score, and as clever and in control as I might think I am, my body can just take over and to it's own thing. It can heal itself.
Here is a clip from youtube.
https://youtu.be/NbbaFTTvxU0 (https://youtu.be/NbbaFTTvxU0)

The cool thing about TRE, is that it triggers emotions etc without having to go through conventional "talk" therapy. But bypasses all that and starts in the body, which in turn gives the same mental result, when it comes to emotions.
"An enhancing attribute of the Trauma Release Exercise process is the physiological states associated with a trauma are often able to be released without having to actually relive, remember, or talk about the actual traumatic event itself."

Hope you all take care of yourselves.

 :)
Title: Re: A suggestion for everyone with trauma (also maybe for the BPD in your life)
Post by: Penny Lane on October 18, 2021, 11:37:36 AM
Hi blahblah, welcome back and thanks for sharing a success story! I'm impressed that you and your spouse have been able to work through this together. And thanks for sharing this resource.