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21
The Welcome Mat / Re: New Member Introduction
« Last post by ArtLover on Today at 07:07:33 AM »
Thank you Boat Babe, xredshoesx, & Aeon, for the welcome & info! So grateful & relieved to be here. Sending love to all and thanks to volunteer admins for running this site!!
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The Welcome Mat / Re: New Member Introduction
« Last post by ArtLover on Today at 07:02:42 AM »
Thank you redshoes!!!!
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The Welcome Mat / Re: New Member Introduction
« Last post by ArtLover on Today at 07:01:55 AM »
Yes!!!! It appears to be better👏 Lol about black market viagra
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The Welcome Mat / Re: New Member Introduction
« Last post by ArtLover on Today at 07:00:03 AM »
Let’s see if I post a few more replies
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The Welcome Mat / Re: New Member Introduction
« Last post by ArtLover on Today at 06:59:15 AM »
Thank you so much!! I thought I was maybe using the wrong software or an outdated browser! I will update!
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Some call it an extinction burst. Or several.  By being consistent and continue on your chosen path you will eventually get the message across that no matter how big the tantrum is,  she will not achieve her goal - that you return to her dominance. Consequently, you are doing the right thing by not sending a father's day card.  That would only trigger false hope and another attempt by her to make you submissive to her again.
As for the panic attack you describe with the sneezing incident - this is a post traumatic flash back you experienced. The best is, to sit them out. Tell yourself that you are having a trauma flashback and that it will pass. You could go and find a trauma therapist, try EMDR or other trauma therapies and you will be able to deal with flashbacks faster, better and they will be less and shorter with time. Just accept that you are traumatized (who would not be after the performances you describe?)  and that you are on a journey of healing. This will allow you to be patient with yourself and not expect that you are instantly healed from a lifetime of being exposed to such behaviour.
Keep us posted with your progress!
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Separating & Divorcing / Re: Am I being set up
« Last post by notrightinthehead on Today at 04:07:35 AM »
So, the house is in your name, you pay the bills, and your wife has gone to hospital because she cannot take the stress of having you around. This sounds like a really bad house mate situation.  What do you want? What do you really want? Can you realize that? Without her changing at all? She stays exactly the same as she is now.  What can you change about yourself to make your situation better? Try to look at realistic, small, achievable goals, always making sure you know what you want and expressing that either in words or in deeds.
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Separating & Divorcing / Am I being set up
« Last post by potteringabout2 on Today at 02:38:09 AM »
Things got bad and I had to move.  I’ve moved back in but she’s behaving weird, moves the furniture around, has a rant and rave.  I’m at work during the day.  She keeps saying she needs her space and implying I should move out.  Won’t speak to me and only through emails., we’re married and trying to work around someone that doesn’t respond to messages or emails is hard. 

It’s my house and I can’t afford to move out.  I still pay the bills. 

Anyway she didn’t come home last night and sent me a message a few days ago that she was in a&e because of the stress of me being in the house.  It got me thinking that I’m img set up?  Should I be worried? 

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Dealing with PD Parents / Re: Bpd or aspd
« Last post by square on Today at 02:19:51 AM »
I could be off base, but this is how I personally differentiate cluster B (including BPD) from ASPD in my mind.

Cluster B, as I see it, looks to confirm their value as human beings by certain cues from other people: what they think is love, attention, envy, awe/admiration, caring tasks, etc. (Most of us do, but they do it to a disordered extent).

A pure ASPD derives their pleasure from dominating another person. A cluster B might enjoy this but the ultimate goal would be to show it to other people as evidence of their value. A pure ASPD may be satisfied by the act of domination alone, regardless of who knows about it and what they think of it.

So as an example, an ASPD might beat out coworkers for a promotion and feel satisfied by the act of winning alone. A cluster B might be happy beating their coworkers to get the promotion, but the prize is ultimately the ability to brag about it or otherwise leverage it in the eyes of others.

As has been stated, having traits of multiple PDs is common and it may be difficult or impossible to sort out. I just use that as my way of understanding the concept of more “textbook” cases, but as I said, my concept might be wrong.

I hope you find some clarity. Best wishes to you. 
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Hi Everyone!

About 8 months ago or so, I finally awoke to the realization that my Mother is a covert narcissist and my Father is her faithful enabler.  After realizing this and after spending some time thinking it over, I decided around 8 months ago to start gray rocking her.  Gray rocking snowballed quickly and she caught on too fast...she started saying little rude comments so I pulled away even more. 

It wasn't until she finally just blew up on me with complete rage that I pulled away so much so that it put her into this crazy cycle that went on for at least 6 months.  I was told I was cruel...that I had a hate for all people...she threatened to call the police to do a wellness check on me....she told me this wasn't really me and I was actually missing....showed up at my door multiple times banging on the door and ringing the doorbell....threatened to sit in my driveway and not leave until I come out...this is just part of it, so you can imagine the stress this has caused me. 

What would happen would be she would send me messages for a week...then pull away for a week or two...just to come back and do it all over again.  I haven't heard from her in over 25 days, and although I am happy about that...I still feel this pending doom this intense anxiety and fear.  I'm not sure what I am afraid of exactly.  I feel afraid I suppose that I know in the pit of my stomach this isn't the end.  I guess I worry that she will be back popping up to pull me down all over again. 

I was outside yesterday in my backyard when I happened to hear someone sneeze.  Most people would shrug this off, but this sneeze I heard sent me into a panic...I felt like I couldn't breathe...my heart rate immediately started to go really fast...and all I could think of was how could I escape....how could I get in my house without having to deal with that.  Thankfully the sneeze was just a neighbor walking their dog...but, it seriously had me in a place of fear.

I feel this anxiety also that tomorrow is Father's Day...I have absolutely no intentions of saying anything to them or sending a card by choice.  But, I feel in a sense that tomorrow is a test.  The test is whether or not I will say anything...or even send a card.  I guess I also have fear that me not saying anything will spark a big fuss/conflict again over the fact I didn't wish him a Happy Father's Day. 

I feel right now I'm in a weird place because every morning I wake up I feel this panic....I feel this worry...I feel like this has been going on now for weeks and I just don't know how to get out of this ongoing loop.  I suppose I am looking for any guidance or insight on this and how I can escape this ongoing loop that I am in because it seriously is NO fun.  How do I deal with this and how can I find myself again?  What is happening? 

Thank you all so much for reading this and any thoughts, advice, or suggestions you may have!  I truly appreciate each and every one of you here! 

 :bighug:
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