firs time here, feeling immense guilt for going NC

[Wolfy]

hello there, this is so new to me, and opening up about emotional abuse as a 22 year old dude has been rough on me.
have been so disillusioned, hopeless, helpless and made to feel so insignificant.
even typing this out is so foreign to me coz ive been suffering in silence for as long as i can remember.
torment after torment, manipulation, gaslighting  and mindgames from my older silbing, has left me feeling resentful, crushed, bitter, envious and miserable to a point where i had to go NC.....and now i feel guilty for that.

[unPadre]

Today is my first day here too, so we're in the same boat.  I'm familiar with those guilt feelings.  I'm much older that you, not that it matters.  Guilt stinks.  I'm learning that it's really false guilt, based upon my codependence.  From what you've said, moving away from that sibling sounds like a healthy thing to do.  They don't sound "safe" for you at all.  I hope you can overcome those guilt feelings, as I believe we should not feel guilty for wanting some peace or removal from unsafe people in our lives. Easier said than done, I realize.
I hope you find support & aid on this site.  Reaching out for help is the first step, and I applaud you for doing so!

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group

as unPadre said, reaching out is the first step.  as far as NC goes, my worst day without my mother in my life was still better than the best day when she was....

sometimes the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) get to us and let us be lured back into having a relationship with PD/ uPD family member.  it's definitely still a  one step at a time process, even for me, who has been NC most of my adult life with my biological mother.

we have a special area of the forum specifically for folks dealing with siblings and other family members- i hope you'll check it out and share some more about your experiences when you are ready

Dealing with PD Siblings and other Family Members

hope to head back from you soon-

[Wolfy]

i honestly appreciate the kind words of encouragement.
i can empathize heavily on the codependency and it is a whole monster on its own,
especially when you feel like you really cant do anything about it. luckily this is the first step to turning things around to the best of our ability.