"The Path Forward: Surviving the Narcissist" by Lisa E. Scott

[Alysa]

I have read this twice. It is a quick read and talks about the narcissist and ways to over come your relationship. I have read it twice because it makes me feel so much better to know it's been him this entire time...not me. I am not the problem he is and I finally have answers. It all makes sense.  I feel like the book has been following him around and then wrote about him and his behaviors.

[NeedaLife]

I finally have the mystery solved too! I will have to read this book to help me decide what I am going to do? I have been married for 28 years and can barely stand being in the same room with him. My mind is swarming with the insanity of it all? It's not me, it's all clear now, he is using me for my income! I have been broke since the day I met him! He has 3 EX large storage units filled with 3 motocross motorcycles, 5 Quads, 8 mini trails, $43,000 Excursion, $10,000 enclosed top of the line trailer, 2 other trailers and a Buell street bike he never rides! We have nothing in savings except my 401K, he has barely contributed anything to his.
God I wish I could blink my eyes and be gone because I cant bare to think of the HELL I will have to go through to leave him! I feel nauseated to think of a divorce and all the crap he will put me through. He will never leave me alone, I know he will stalk me and threaten God knows what to prevent it.
I thought I could tell him everything and demand the see a Psych MD and get help but I know it is worthless! You cant change them, it will all be for nothing, Right? I cant even get enough nerve to ask about daily simple things I wish he could change let alone to face what is wrong with him and ask for treatment. It's a joke, he will never admit it and find empathy for anyone but himself! I don't know what or how to do it? How is the best way to get out of this? Is it best to leave completely one day and just be gone for good? I change my mind everyother day? I'll stay, NO it will never work! He cant change or maybe he could??? I know better, he can not change. How can I find the nerve to get out? I agonize all day, every day, it's all I think about!

[timetoletgo]

I am reading this right now. I found writing the letter from my NPD incredibly emotional. There are so many things I want him to admit to!  The most hurtful is the use and discard and withholding of affection in order to continue to manipulate me. How I wish he had the jewels to stand in front of me and say these things!

And the Madonna-Whore explanation. Wow. Guess I am the Whore. Or I was until that bored him. I actually think he vacillates between his now wife and me, I think that's why he keeps coming back. She becomes the Madonna so he needs his whore. He withholds his affection from her until he's tired of me, so she can be his whore again while I am the Madonna. I am sure there are more in the mix besides just the two of us but I definitely have a better understanding of why he keeps coming back. It makes perfect sense in the context of our relationship. Light bulbs everywhere seem to be going off for me today.

[NeedaLife]

Stay firm and remember all the lightbulbs! Wake up and realize you deserve better! Read books on BPD and you will be stronger and stop his manipulations. You should drive the bus! Don't let him!