Finally Understanding the Pattern

[Greenandblue]

The other day I hurt my partner's feelings unintentionally. I talked about how a behavior they do stresses me. In addition, I over talked them, which is what aggravates their raw wounds from childhood. I'd like to think that I should not have over talked them, but it was important that what I had to say was heard. I told them that when they pointed it out. (To be fair, I have a bad habit of interrupting others)

Since then they have been standoffish to me, even two days later. Usually I would become dysregulated because of feeling rejected. They don't typically mean it personally. They usually feel hurt and/or some shame for something. If they are standoffish, they can keep better their behaviors appropriate. It's typically about things they are going through and not that they don't care for me. I even saw the "care" for me come through today despite the distance.

It was still difficult last night to not feel punished and not take it personally. I was even anxious and scared at work at what I would be coming home to. It has taken me too many years to understand this and figure out a way to navigate it.