Belief in control over really uncontrollable things

[Stillirise]

If only I'd seen this as a red flag early-on.  StbxUPDh is a tall man.  He truly believes this is because he willed it to happen when he was younger.

He was a late bloomer in that area, so he spent most of his boyhood being shorter than his peers.  He hated it so much that he started willing himself to be tall, so that's what happened.  When I suggested maybe it was actually genetics and adequate nutrition, nope.  Those factors weren't  as important as his sheer will to be tall.     

He's always the hero of the story, even when it defies the laws of nature, and common sense!

[notrightinthehead]

He is not alone in this. There are movies around telling us that sheer will can achieve anything, like a parking spot directly in front of a restaurant, lots of money raining down on us, a miracle recovery from illness. I find that way of thinking dangerous when it comes to thinking that cancer will go away if you just wish it hard enough. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

That's an extreme example of magical thinking! I guess like any behavior it exists on a spectrum. There's really not any harm in someone saying, "Thanks, Lord!" for the parking spot, even if you yourself are not a believer. And then there's the parent thinking they can cure their child of illness by will or faith alone.

This is a new one, though. I mean, why didn't he will himself taller sooner, then, if he was in control all along?  By his logic it's his fault he was short to begin with. I don't suggest you ask him that though!

[Stillirise]

I mean, why didn't he will himself taller sooner, then, if he was in control all along?  By his logic it's his fault he was short to begin with. I don't suggest you ask him that though!

Excellent point!

I'm trying to find the humor in my current situation any way that I can!  The one concern I have over this issue is DS.  He isn't tall, and has a completely different build than his F.  Stbx seems overly concerned that DS might have a similar insecurity about his stature—which he does not appear to have.  I'm sort of trying to preload DS with self confidence and acceptance of his, and others' appearance, as he enters his teens.  That way, maybe we can head-off any attempts to project this particular magical thinking onto him! 

[Stillirise]

I thought of another corollary to this.  Before he willed himself tall, during his pre-teens, a doctor noted in his records that he had very large hands and feet. Maybe because he was going to grow into them?! Anyway, he was for some reason very self-conscious about that.  When we met in our 20's, he had foot problems.  I pointed out that his shoes appeared to be too small. He wouldn't hear of that. Remember, he'd willed himself to well over 6' tall at this point. Anyway, with some persistence, I convinced him to get properly fitted for shoes. The shoes they recommended were 1.5 sizes larger that what he'd been wearing for years.  His shoe size is now 3 sizes bigger than when we met, due to age, and likely his feet finally feeling the freedom of proper space!  You just can't make this stuff up!