One small step

[Associate of Daniel]

I've taken the 1st step to changing back to my maiden name. It's only taken 8 years!

I'm keeping my married name for things to do with ds13. Medical, school etc..  But I want to change to my maiden name for everything else.

So I set up an email address which is my preferred 1st name and my maiden name.  Surprisingly, I didn't have to add any numbers or dots/dashes to get the address.  I can't help thinking that's some sort of sign.

I then changed my record at the local library.  A few days later I went there to collect an item I had ordered.  I couldn't find my name amongst the bags for collection. Until I saw my maiden name printed on the bag.

I grinned.  But as I walked back to the car I teared up.  It was such a confused mass of emotions:  Relief, grief, fear, empowerment, confusion, doubt.

I was really surprised by my response.

Did anyone else have a similar experience when they changed their name?

AOD

[athene1399]

I am so happy for you!!  I know when I do something good/healthy for myself (like implementing boundaries) , there is such a wave of mixed emotions. I feel liberated and guilty and proud and scared. It can be overwhelming, but sorting through it and taking time to feel it is part of the process I think. I know I often was not allowed to feel the emotions with my FOO and my exes. Sometimes we just have to take a moment to sit with it all instead of burying it. And it feels so weird to feel opposite emotions at the same time.

I have never changed my name though. So I hope this helps.

[GettingOOTF]

My ex gave me a really hard time about the divorce. While we were separated I had to do some legal thing that allowed me to change my name so I reverted to my maiden name legally and before that someone I was friendly with at work changed my name in all the systems so it displayed as my maiden name. By the time the divorce was final I’d been using my maiden name for years, had a new passport, ID card, bank account etc. all in only my name.

It sounds like a small thing but it made such a difference to my mindset.

Congrats on taking this step. These are the steps that help us build our lives.