Hello All

[artemisiaek]

Long time lurker, first time poster here. I have a uNPD father and I am coming to realize that my mother probably also has a PD (my desperation for family feeling/acknowledgment and a few generalized apologies on her part have prevented me from confronting this much). Have dealt with gas lighting since a very early age (around 5 or 6), and even now, after moving out, getting married, using countless numbers of self help books, getting on medication and seeing a therapist I still feel guilt, panic, and a sense on entrapment when I think of my family, as well as a feeling of longing/desperation for the kind of support and love that a family is supposed to represent. I have been officially been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and CPTSD, and am doing MUCH better than in the past, but I am struggling at the moment due to a recent phone call that my dad butted in on, so here I am finally posting. I'll post more about the specifics of my situation in one of the other threads later one, but for now thank you for all the posts and support this community has offered even before I wrote this.

[guitarman]

Welcome artemisiaek. You are not alone.

I am sorry to learn about what you are going through. There is lots of support here from other people experiencing similar but different experiences as yourself. We all help and support each other through some very challenging times.

I have an undiagnosed BPD/NPD sister whom I now call my abuser and I am her target of abuse. I can identify with a diagnosis of CPTSD and depression for myself.

There is information in the "Toolbox" section of the website about how to care for yourself better. I also post about Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome in the "Other Media Resources" section of the forum which you may like to look at. I particularly like the videos on YouTube by Kris Godinez and Doctor Ramani who both talk about narcissism. They have helped me so much.

Keep calm. Keep strong. Keep posting.