Complaining endlessly

[SparkStillLit]

That's today's agenda. He's after DS. Maybe because I no longer respond well enough.
DS usually isn't a very good source of supply, either, he has this built in teenage sass that....well, honestly it's really good boundary holding as opposed to actual sass.
There is one way to get that boy, though, and updh has been absolutely pounding it today. It's his dog. Ceaseless CEASELESS complaining about the dog. Really upsetting the boy(goal). Everything he b*tches about is EASILY fixed with not even intensive training and socialization. She's a young dog that we got out of questionable circumstances from the shelter. She's smart & people pleasy, but with no skills. WHOOOOOO IS HOME ALLLLLL DAY WITH NOOOOOO JOBBBBB???????? Not ME. Not BOY.
Boy is too young to remember this at all, but we went through very similar drama and bullsh*t when I did 3 12 shifts away from home. About half into my shifts, there'd be some call about dog drama with the now ancient sighthounds. They couldn't now be a source of drama if they tried. It would be laughable. But boyyyyyyy did he wind it up then. THEY were and are extremely well trained, and I could NEVER replicate nor figure out these "situations" when I came back; nonetheless, I'd set the dogs up in artificial scenarios and patiently go back through their training, all the while feeling like they were going "....duh...."
It took me FOREVER to catch on to what was really going on.
In this case....for the dog's sake, I will do what I can with her. She will be mine forever, so she may as well be comfortable here. Yes, I was steamrolled into this agreement. I said "everyone needs to participate" knowing full well I would be the only one to do any of it with minor contributions from DS, and updh using it as a tool against both of us.

[Penny Lane]

That is so frustrating! I'm sorry. Can you subtly teach your son the ways of medium chill/grey rock?

[notrightinthehead]

I am so sorry for you. I hope you have a place where you can get some reprieve.

[SparkStillLit]

Well...I go to work.
I work with dog when I'm home. She's a good girl. She tries hard.
I try to gently suggest to Boy.
Updh bings from one thing to another, and it's so easy to do with an enormous young dog. Boy is so sensitive about her. I reassure him that she's a good dog, and she will ALWAYS have a home with us. (Recall the incident of me having to take his favorite dog to the adoption events when he was little? NEVER AGAIN. N-E-V-E-R).
He usually MCs updh, or forcefully holds boundaries, but not very well about this.
I've also noticed he tries to be forceful with the dog, like updh. Normally he's gentle and never forceful, and a person mustn't be forceful with her. She's soft. I don't want her to be afraid. I always tell him never to be that way with her. Firmness is NOT the same as force. I show him how. Firm but kind. You mean what you say, you expect her to mind, but you don't ask things she doesn't understand or can't do. Demonstrate what you want. Give her a chance . That kind of thing. She's just a "kid".

See, this is where I'm patient with animals and children, but not adults.

[notrightinthehead]

Sounds like your h found a weak spot with your son and now works it until he gets a reaction. I taught my daughters medium chill and grey rock and non Jade, at least they had a tool they could use.  I hope your son will learn how to be kind and firm, sounds like you need to give him re-assurance too.
Family life is so much more difficult when you have to put up with all that.