Dreams

[Kat54]

Maybe this is part of the healing process. I've been struggling with lately understanding my part in the demise of our marriage with my ex. I've moved on from anger to guilt, to thinking this is just who he was and you can't change people so you then have to move on, which I did. The verbal and emotional abuse is becoming this distant memory and I feel like I shouldn't forget what he did because it's why I left.

Lately I've had a repeated dream about my ex and it's  been mostly the same. We are divorced but are with our two kids staying together at a hotel, or doing something together to help our kids. We are getting along which is not unusual really but I find it so strange as to it's the same feeling and senario every time.

In reality, I try hard to steer clear of him and remain no contact as it's better for me. When we are together it doesn't take but five minutes of a conversation with him and all the bad feelings come rushing back and I remember so much hurt and why I had to move on.

Trying to figure out why am I having this dream, As its happened a few times now in the last few months.

[Poison Ivy]

I've been divorced for almost 5 years, physically separated for longer (then husband became his parents' full-time caregiver years before the divorce). My ex frequently appears in my dreams. He's typically more forceful in the dreams than he ever is in real life, in which he tends to be quite passive. I don't know what the dreams mean; maybe I feel guilty. But when I wake up, I don't miss him.

[Andeza]

I would venture to guess that your dreams are trying to help you process unprocessed trauma or abuse from the past. Additionally, both of you sound like your subconscious minds are reminding you of prior danger and advising you to continue staying away for your own health and safety. This could be triggered by guilt or feelings of regret, or even by feeling like you're at fault in some way. Which I don't believe either of you are, not for a second! But the mind does things sometimes, and goes odd places when we least expect. But the subconscious sees the whole picture and does not forget.