How do you convince your PD spouse to separate

[ploughthrough2021]

Just wondering how one convinces a PD spouse to separate.  Try as I would, she just will not accept.

[ChillNow]

Actually, you don't need her acceptance.

Assuming you are in the US, you can separate and stay separated for the length of time that your jurisdiction requires and then get the Divorce Decree.

The separation agreement is an entirely different topic. That's where she can give you a hard time.  But, fundamentally, if one spouse wants a divorce, there isn't anything the other person can do to block it - only drag it out due to other considerations.

I wouldn't waste my breath getting her consent.  If this is something you strongly feel you need to do for your sanity and safety because she will not or cannot improve enough, then I'd suggest making stealth preparations.  There are so many great posts about that in this Forum section.

[Poison Ivy]

 

[ploughthrough2021]

Thanks. Yeah key thing people always tell me, it's my call. And yes, I have just about had enough after 30 years. I am 55, kids are mature and I want to live my life !

[Kat54]

My experience, it's your decision and life. Do what's best for yourself and your sanity. There's no convincing.
I had brought it up to my ex, and his first words were, half this house is mine and I'm not leaving I have no where to go.
I moved to the next floor of the house but it was so stressful I was fortunate to have sisters I could live with. Couldn't force him out so it was easier for me to leave.
Good luck.