I thought it was over, but just got hoover card after three years!

[JustKathy]

To everyone who heard me say that the hoovering eventually stops, I was wrong.

I really thought it was over. After my NPDmother died enFather continued sending birthday and holiday cards for three years, then one day it just stopped. I thought it might be due to his advanced age, or the fact that GC sister was living two doors down and controlling his life. It was neither. Just got a card. A year into COVID and he never bothered to send an email or letter to see if I was okay. Now I get a birthday card containing the same old copy/pasted crap. Happy Birthday. I'm 90 now and won't be around much longer. It would be decent of you to call me. 

And this time he included a check, which I'm NOT going to cash.

Part of me wants to feel sad for him because I'm sure he really has no idea why I went NC. I'm sure he sees nothing wrong with disinheriting me to avenge my mother because, in his mind, I was horrible and cruel to her and deserved to be punished. Just like when I was little, spanked for being bad and expected to learn my lesson.

Well, I can't feel sad or sorry for him. If someone went NC with me, my card would read, "I don't know why you left, but I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you." He'll die without ever saying those words, so no, I don't feel sorry for him and I don't feel guilty for walking away. Just pissed that I had to open that card, which BTW came with disguised handwriting and no return address.

[lightworld]

This is bizarre. I posted on the same thing yesterday and then saw Pepin's post too, we're al! experiencing the same thing at the same time. I know Ns seem to use the same playbook but the timing of this is extraordinary.

I too have just had the simp!e message - you MUST call me I'm going to die soon and -what have I ever done to you? Errrr how long have you go? Accusatory, no apology,

I hope we can all have the courage to ignore and move on but it's so triggering.

[Starboard Song]

Same here!

First Hoover in almost three years arrived in recent months.
It was a bad Hoover. 1 star. Would not recommend.

[JustKathy]

What the heck? This really is bizarre.

I got to thinking last night that maybe it's some kind of Covid anniversary stalking. My birthday is in March. Last year at this time we were just a few weeks into lockdown and had no idea where this was heading. Now there have been a lot of deaths and a lot of lives uprooted, jobs lost, etc. Perhaps my father was thinking that I might be experiencing some kind of financial hardship and would be vulnerable to getting sucked back in.

It's just VERY strange that four of us (so far) have received cards after three whole years. Why now?

Being ten years into NC it's very easy for me to ignore it, but yes, it's very triggering.

[Sidney37]

That is bizarre.  I wonder if it's because they received their vaccinations and think that you (we) can visit now.  It's like they think we had a change of heart over the past year and now that THEY are vaccinated it's safe for THEM to see us. 

[JustKathy]

That is bizarre.  I wonder if it's because they received their vaccinations and think that you (we) can visit now.  It's like they think we had a change of heart over the past year and now that THEY are vaccinated it's safe for THEM to see us.

Sydney, yes! I think that may also be part of their thinking. It does seem very odd that this is timed with the vaccine rollout. Heck, maybe they've managed to convince themselves that we've been staying away because of Covid, but yee haw, we can come back now!