reason to go NC

[Jolie40]

realized I "had to"

stress of everything going on during a super chaotic year with FOO affected my ability to sleep
was only sleeping 3-4 hours per night

after months of this, I felt super sick one night from lack of sleep
knew I had to do something since my health was suffering

do not regret going NC
now sleeping 7 hrs and don't have that constant stress anymore

posting this for those considering going NC
sometimes it's a matter of one's health

[Boat Babe]

That's such good news, thanks for sharing. I'm glad you're getting better sleep and starting to feel the benefits of liberation from PD misery and control and damage. 

You'll undoubtedly have some ups and downs as you rebuild your life and your self.  That's where the learning happens and, with learning comes growth, wisdom, healing. Take very good care of yourself, treat yourself with great compassion and consideration.

[TwentyTwenty]

I'm happy for you that you put your well being over the feelings of people that cause you mental and physical harm.

I did the same thing.

Afterwards, I wondered why it took me so long to find that peace and happiness I was searching for, but allowed family thieves to rob me of, all of my life.

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Great to see your health is improving. I also believe when our health is negatively impacted, there is no choice. All of that negative energy must have to go somewhere. You do not have to carry it.   
   
It sure can be an eye-opener though when you start feeling so good without them.   
 

[makingachange]

That is great news!  I am happy for you that you are now sleeping well!  =) 

I am in kind of the same boat ...not sleeping very well at all lately because of my FOO too.  Sleeping and then waking up in the middle of the night wide awake from this heavy stress...I just recently started going gray rock with them, and it feels even more stressful!? 

Thank you for the motivation and inspiration...I know there has to be a change! 

I hope you have a great rest of your day!  <3 

[Hilltop]

I'm so glad you are sleeping better and feeling less stressed.

I have to admit I feel much better since going NC.  It's only been 3 months but I feel peace is probably the word, relaxed.  There is no stress, no anger, no left over emotion, I have found it very freeing.  I was considering NC just being a time out but as time goes on I really don't want to go back to how things were so I am starting to see NC as my new norm.

I couldn't do grey rock or MC, I tried for years but it didn't work with me.  I still had the stressful emotions after visiting FOO. I do recommend it here though as it does work for some and may be the solution that works for others.  For me it was exhausting.  I'm at the point now where I think stuff it, this isn't up to me to fix.  I appointed myself as the fixer for years and  banged my head on the wall for years not getting anywhere because I believed I was my problem, even though deep down I knew it was their behaviour that was the problem but I believed I had to get over it or talk about it to solve issues.  See even trying to explain it just reminds me of how crazy making it was. I don't believe that any more.  Its amazing once you step away from it all and I see that I am not angry and not emotional, I can see that I was those things around my FOO simply because of their behaviour and actions.  I see now that I am quite calm and happy and I now refuse to have of those type of people in my life again.

[Jolie40]

Thank you BoatBabe, TwentyTwenty, Blueberry Pancakes, makingachange, and Hilltop for taking the time to reply. Thanks for your kind words!


only found this forum a couple months after going NC
it's been helpful reading other's posts!

[feelingandhealing]

do not regret going NC

The above is excellent to hear. Congrats on having the courage to go NC Jolie40 and for looking after your own health. For many of us, NC is the best option.

[Jolie40]

thanks for your reply feelingandhealing & welcome to forum!

it does feel better taking care of myself & not being stressed daily

it seems that I'm breathing better, also
noticing my body taking more deep breaths

[Oscen]

Amen to putting yourself and your health first!

[Fortuna]

Jolie40, thank you for posting this. I know I waited a really long time before going NC, waiting for that big thing to make it worth it, but so often it comes with the small things that leave you mentally drained until you realize NC is the only way not get your soul eaten out from under you. Good for you for taking care of your health.

[bostonbound]

Jolie40!  I have gone NC a few times with my bpd parent.  And it was for exactly the reason you stated.  My mental/physical health was suffering and I really needed a break.  You have to take care of yourself.

[blues_cruise]

I think you're right to protect your health, jolie40. The fact that you're sleeping far better now indicates that no contact is far healthier for you both mentally and physically. I came to much the same conclusion prior to no contact: boundaries weren't working and it was putting my body under a constant state of fight or flight, which started showing up physically as painful digestive cramps. It all eased when I decided to drop the rope.