How do you cope when they ramp up the pressure even more?

[p123]

Fair play to him hes persistent.......

Dad just won't give up. We've had the conversation about weekends about 20 times now. No.
Its not fair to drag my kids (who hes doesnt care about) there......

BUT he rolls it out all the time - "so can you do me a favour and visit the weekend?"

I must admit I hate visiting now.

[Sneezy]

It sounds like you need a break.  Put your phone on silent, don't answer his calls, don't visit for a bit.  Consider it a vacation from dad.  If you want, you can tell him that something has come up at work and you won't be available for a few days, or a few weeks, or however much time you need.  It's essential that you take some time away from him and refresh.

[Cat of the Canals]

I totally agree with Sneezy. I'm at a point where I haven't talked to PDmom on the phone for a month, and I have never felt so relaxed and so distant from her endless guilt trips.

You aren't going to visit every weekend. He's not going to stop asking. The only way to prevent him from hassling you about it is to give him less opportunity, and that means not answering the phone when he calls. Set his number to go straight to voicemail for a while and save yourself the headache.

[p123]

Covid lockdown was great I must admit!

Its just so obvious that he does not agree with my boundary. I visit him pretty much every week one weekday evening.
BUT Dad has always had these ideas in his head about how thing "should" work.

One of these is his kids should take it in turns to visit him at weekends and take him out.

Problem is, like I said, he blanks my kids totally, they just get in his way. Youngest is 8 now and I'm no longer subjecting her to that.
As for him visiting us, his behaviour has been so bad over the years my wife no longer sees him (something I support her totally on BTW).

[p123]

Oh dear - Son (17) is ill. Got to have a covid test today just in case. So whole family has to  isolate until we get the result....

99% sure hes got tonsilitis though. BUT, wonder how long I can drag this one out? Im going to hell......

Can guarantee it'll lead to much gnashing of teeth, woe is me, "what am I going to do?". Even though theres no reason for the visit - all he wants is for me to fill in because his cousin is away. I saw him wednesday but he has no concept of me having things to do with my kids.