Report says 1 in 8 women in the UK admits to owning than a 100 pair of shoes!

[Hazy111]

"The borderline Queen experiences what therapists call "oral greediness". The desperate hunger of the borderline Queen is akin to the behavior of an infant who had gone too long between feelings. Starved, frustrated, and beyond the ability to calm of soothe herself, she grabs, flails, and wails until at last the nipple is planted securely and perhaps too deeply in her mouth. She coughs, gags, chokes, and spits, eyeing the elusive breast like a wolf guarding her food. Similarity, the Queen holds on to what is hers, taking more than she could use, in case it might be taken away prematurely."

- Christine Lawson "Understanding the Borderline Mother"

" PD is the norm not the exception " - Hazy111 ( male ; 3 pairs of shoes, 2 boots, 2 deck shoes, 4 trainers, 1 sandals 1 slippers)

Dont start me on bags or new hairstyles 

[Starboard Song]

Mere acquisitiveness is not a borderline personality disorder trait. I am not sure why anyone needs 100 pairs of shoes, but I suspect it reflects more a failure to throw away the outdated than an acquisition of excess.

Certainly, the norm is that we are all flawed in various ways. We are sometimes conniving, sometimes grasping, sometimes false, and sometimes defensive. Personality disorders are defined expressly to be NOT normal. They are when someone expresses too many traits, too severely, too often, and so we consider it disordered.

I fear that over-diagnosing any PD makes it harder to address the hardest core of cases. And it treats daily behavior choices, which everyone believes we can argue about and influence, as disorders or conditions, which people don't try as hard to fix, and for which they take less accountability.

I've been to the UK and am confident that 1 in 8 women were not BPD. Some probably think their men own too many guitars, video games, power tools, or items of sports memorabilia, which are common forms of male acquisitiveness.

[moglow]

I am not sure why anyone needs 100 pairs of shoes, but I suspect it reflects more a failure to throw away the outdated than an acquisition of excess.

Plus perhaps a social butterfly who feels the need to matchy match shoes, jewelry, accessories to every outfit for every occasion then pushes further back to dark corners of closet as the seasons, styles and sizes change? As Starboard states, in and of itself, this isn't a borderline trait with which I'm familiar. It could as easily be obsessive-compulsive or someone who is very style-conscious. Or someone who grew up during the Depression and did without, now able to treat herself? But borderline trait? That seems rather a stretch to me.

Certainly, the norm is that we are all flawed in various ways. We are sometimes conniving, sometimes grasping, sometimes false, and sometimes defensive. Personality disorders are defined expressly to be NOT normal. They are when someone expresses too many traits, too severely, too often, and so we consider it disordered.
I fear that over-diagnosing any PD makes it harder to address the hardest core of cases. And it treats daily behavior choices, which everyone believes we can argue about and influence, as disorders or conditions, which people don't try as hard to fix, and for which they take less accountability.

[Cat of the Canals]

I agree that borderline queens tend to be quite superficial when it comes to looks and possessions, but not every superficial person is borderline or even PD.

My husband and I had a similar discussion a few months ago, when we were confronted with some strange behavior from a few of his old high school friends. He said, "What's the deal, do all of these people have PDs?" And I said, "They are all immature. And all PDs are immature. But not all immature people have a PD."

More on the topic: I have a friend with probably more than 100 pairs of shoes. Shoes are her "thing." The same way people collect toys or comics or action figures, she collects shoes. She keeps detailed records and photographs of what she has. She also periodically sells off older parts of her collection, so I imagine that while it may not "pay for itself" she is often coming close to breaking even when she acquires a new pair.

[Boat Babe]

I like nice shoes. No room for a hundred pairs on the boat though!

[Andeza]

I'm going to go with a "Not always" on this one. Potentially, but I don't think the number of shoes anyone owns is necessarily an indicator of mental health issues. Granted a hoarding situation would be different. I like shoes, and I probably have a couple of pairs more than strictly necessary, but not a massive collection. I have weird feet though, and the vast majority simply don't fit. But the BPD Queen type I know also doesn't have a million pairs of shoes. And the BPD Waif/Hermit I know doesn't either.

Some people have a collection. Stamps, coins, shoes, cars... Depends on the person and their funding I suppose. I'm in a similar situation to Boat Babe though. Who has the room?

[Associate of Daniel]

Sneakers, gum boots, slippers, thongs (flip flops), flats, boots... 6.  That's 6 pairs that I have.

I can't stand shoe shopping.

AOD

[Happypants]

Admittedly I thought the post was meant to be a little tongue-in-cheek, but I'm terrible at judging these things.  In reality, I'd think that most who have that many pairs of shoes are most likely in the throes of addiction, which most often stems from a desire to fill a hole (my technical term for it).  I own approximately twenty notebooks and journals, all accumulated during a period of mild depression and feeling of lack of control over my life.  The dopamine hit from shopping (and I'm NOT a fan of shopping at all under normal circumstances) and receiving each notebook all played a part in distracting me, and the ownership of a new, fresh, untainted book full of promise symbolised yet another opportunity to start fresh/change from here on in/become a new me/feel differently about life.  Then there's my collection of unread books (again, full of promise and waiting to change my life  ). 

Not trying to normalize or detract from your personal association with someone shoe-collecting, Hazy111 - I just see either addiction or a scarcity mentality in such habits when attributed to the general population.

[clara]

Yeah, no.  I have a friend who is acquisitive and is always buying stuff she doesn't need not because she has a personality disorder but because she grew up low income, not having much, so now that she has some spending money she spends it in order to make up for her sense of early deprivation.  It's a psychological issue, for sure, but not a PD. 

[Hazy111]

Hmmm....

[xredshoesx]

i'm sure some people who do anything compulsively are PD/ uPD, however when we start making ALL type statements about people being PD/ uPD that's a place where we may need to stop and think about WHY it's so important to  US make that designation, esp. if it's not someone in our personal circle.  it's also making broad generalizations which is against the forum guidelines because no one here certainly wants to be on the receiving end of that kind of stereotyping.


i think one of the greatest tools i've taken away from the site over the years is that if it doesn't affect me directly it's not worth the space in my head- someone with 100 pairs of shoes is interesting as to WHY that may be, but unless it's me or my DH it's not something i need to put my mental energy into.  i'm more concerned with the things i can control- chiefly my own reactions and responses to difficult people.