Awareness

[GentleSoul]

Good morning/afternoon all

I hope everyone is doing as well as is possible in their personal situation.

I wanted to quietly post about an experience I have travelled through in the last few months.

I had met a woman and we got on very well, gradually became friends.  All very nice but then I started to see and hear red flags in things she said and shared about.  My tummy started to send me messages that something was off kilter.   

So I with kindness and dignity I gently removed her from my life.  I had the feeling the red flags I had seen were the tip of the iceberg so that I needed to act quickly as it would escalate as time went on.   

Glad to say it all went well. 

I simply cannot and will not ever again allow a personality disordered people in my life.   I need to protect my mind body and soul from them.

[Boat Babe]

Absolutely. Well done!

[GentleSoul]

Absolutely. Well done!

Thank you very much. 

[j.banquo]

That's wonderful, that's a really hard thing to do when someone's promising and interesting.

It's totally worth it. When I ended my last relationship, I told myself "buster, you are not allowed to date until you figure this out."

That was about a decade ago. Anyone with promise who I've met since has crossed themselves off the list pretty quickly. I didn't realize for a while I'd had someone abusive at the core of my support network all of the time, up to a certain year. Yeah, nope nope nope. No.

[GentleSoul]

That's wonderful, that's a really hard thing to do when someone's promising and interesting.

It's totally worth it. When I ended my last relationship, I told myself "buster, you are not allowed to date until you figure this out."

That was about a decade ago. Anyone with promise who I've met since has crossed themselves off the list pretty quickly. I didn't realize for a while I'd had someone abusive at the core of my support network all of the time, up to a certain year. Yeah, nope nope nope. No.

Thank you.  It was hard yet I deeply knew it was the right thing to do.  Our bodies know, they tell us if we listen.

I won't be dating either for similar reasons.  I have stopped repeating the cycle my childhood of narcs, alcoholics. 

I am loving being single.   Sheer clean pure joy.  I can just be ME.  I don't need to use about tools or techniques to cope with a toxic person!

[losingmyself]

Congratulations, Gentle Soul! I like to daydream about who I would be if I wasn't in this situation.
Thank you for staying here and sharing your healing journey.

[GentleSoul]

Congratulations, Gentle Soul! I like to daydream about who I would be if I wasn't in this situation.
Thank you for staying here and sharing your healing journey.

Thank you.  Your user name is so apt.  That is exactly what happened to me, I lost myself.  I was all crushed away.

I was with late uPD husband for about 15 years. 

It has taken me time to adjust but I really am loving my new life.  The peace and quiet fills my heart.    I like myself, I like who I am.

Just sat having a quiet cup of tea and slice of cake.    All the best to you.

[Boat Babe]

I think that is the worst aspect of PD abuse. The attack on our very selfhood  is the hardest thing to bear. We become shadows of our former selves.  My first uNPDbf was unbelievably malicious and very, very good at it too. (I have hardly talked about him here at all, it's so long ago.) He set out to destroy me, no doubt about it. He would have done if I'd stayed. That's why recovery is such a long haul, but worth it, so so worth it.

Sending hugs to everyone.

[GentleSoul]

I think that is the worst aspect of PD abuse. The attack on our very selfhood  is the hardest thing to bear. We become shadows of our former selves. 

I agree.  We become empty shells.

[GentleSoul]

When late uPD husband and I met I was confident, sassy, strong,  assertive, dressed in chic clothes, good self esteem.  We met in a workplace.  I was a grade higher than him.   He liked all of those qualities!   Those over the years he squeezed them out of me.

[Boat Babe]

She's still in there 😊❤️

[GentleSoul]

She's still in there 😊❤️

LOL!! Yes, I am.   

Thanks.

[tragedy or hope]

Gentle Soul.

"I simply cannot and will not ever again allow a personality disordered people in my life.   I need to protect my mind body and soul from them."

I agree. i had been tortured by a tortured soul for 1/2 a century in the name of commitment and forgiveness. i will not compromise my soul another minute.

[GentleSoul]

Gentle Soul.

"I simply cannot and will not ever again allow a personality disordered people in my life.   I need to protect my mind body and soul from them."

I agree. i had been tortured by a tortured soul for 1/2 a century in the name of commitment and forgiveness. i will not compromise my soul another minute.

Thank you, Tragedy or Hope. 

Yes, they are tortured souls, I can see that and can feel compassion for them  - from a very very very very long distance away!    Very!!   

My soul is my own now and I will treasure it and treat myself like the very worthy person I am.