Believing two very opposing things at once? What is this?

[Hazy111]

I hear a lot of common phrases instead of thoughts around the same time, like "don't cry wolf," "a place for everything and everything in its place," "don't talk to me that way," "if you treat your friends the way you treat me, I'm surprised you have any friends at all." Ready-made responses, either as a broken record or borrowing from culture. Doesn't require as much cognitive effort. I'm speculating, obviously, lol... It seems that way though. Knowing a few random examples of what you're supposed to say, and saying one of them when you don't know what you think or feel.

We've definitely noticed this with my MIL. She goes into "platitude mode." Some of her favorites are "this is beyond the pale," "but that's your family," "I won't be around forever, you know," "everyone else manages to do just fine..."

Thats so very true. Ive heard so many " ready made " platitudes from the PDs i knew. Its a substitute for intelligent thought, insight or self awareness, whilst trying to sound profound. Its like they carry them around with them , ready to deploy at any moment.

It can also act as a "gaslight" to throw you off what youre talking about because they fear where the conversation is going.

If i ever tried to talk to my sister about our past i would get " The pasts another country , they do things different there"    A bizarre one amongst many from my mom would be if i mentioned someone had cancer she would reply "Well everybody gets cancer" 

A PD neighbor of mine always deploys (if talking about politics) " Well we should be grateful we dont live in Russia" or variations on a theme. Its a "gaslight" to stop the conversation. So i dont talk about politics to him anymore if anything. 

"Well theyre all the same" is another fav i hear a lot , trying to sound clever but lacks any critical thought. Bit like " water's wet you know"

[j.banquo]

Thats so very true. Ive heard so many " ready made " platitudes from the PDs i knew. Its a substitute for intelligent thought, insight or self awareness, whilst trying to sound profound. Its like they carry them around with them , ready to deploy at any moment.

They use the ones they know will hurt the most, based on their tests, and it's on purpose. As an obviously queer child from the moment a child's self starts to develop, I was an existential threat to her reputation and social standing, and they used it to destroy me. Same with my intelligence. Or, to entirely shut down every objection or opinion or boundary. I only knew later some were common themes culturally:

ˑ I think gay people must always feel a sense of loss.

ˑ I always thought girls can be whatever they want to (implying: but okay, fine, you're a man, however I know better)

ˑ You're a shame to the family.

ˑ You need to learn how to play school.

ˑ Never go to bed angry at someone you love (how insidious is that one, right?)

[1footouttadefog]

Platitudes are a proxy authority being called in  to support the PDs side of argument etc or point of view.

[1footouttadefog]

Platitudes are a proxy authority being called in  to support the PDs side of argument etc or point of view.

[Hazy111]

Never go to bed angry at someone you love

Translated " your feelings dont count. "