CJ The X Video Essays

[hhaw]

Watching CJ's video essay on the movie Coraline through my personal lense and history of attempted divorce/ parenting agreement with an ASPD with N features was powerful. 

Esp the part where the Beldam is raging and beating on the little door, demanding Coraline come back so the Beldam can sew literal buttons in her eyes and consume her, body and soul.....predatory, violent and the death of Coraline's world and all she loves....the Beldam screams she (Beldam) will die without Coraline, bc the Beldam believes she WILL die if she can't prey on Coraline, imo.  It's horrible to see and listen to and re experience divorcing a malignant person with children involved and their scorched earth policy burning around you.

I guess the scariest part, if I'm being honest, is that some Coraline prey DO go back to save their personal Beldam.....really terrifying stuff, esp when it's children forced to keep the door open and go back into the Beldam's lair. 

Remembering the harm I was forced to allow against my children, in order to mitigate then stop it completely, all flooded back painfully as I watched this essay. 

The tools predators use to trick and manipulate children, and the responses we have available to counter them, all ran through my mind as I watched this essay.  Last week I filed away Christmas letters to my girls from their malignant predatory paternal grandmother, who began sending letters when my oldest DD turned 18yo.  They were about DD being able to do what she wanted, now she turned 18.  All assumptions by the PD MIL that her own actions weren't the cause of the court's decision to cut her completely out of her grandaughters' lives.  All blame and care about money and invitations to start up another sh$t storm in our lives and division and conflict with me playing the bad guy and MIL playing the poor grandma who just wants to know and love her son's children, but really only ever talked about hhaw in her correspondence to court officers, or while giving statements or the hours and hours of testimony she gave in a custody trial.  No talk about her lovely grandaughters or what she lived and missed about them....ever.

It was always about punishing me and FIL actually testified that was the truth, in the end.  Crushing the kids, to punish hhaw. 

CJ doesn't see the movie through a non PD parent's eyes.  Honestly, I have to watch it again, with curiosity instead of reactivity, to hear his meaning.

I also watched his 2.5 hour video essay on Bo Burnham vs Jeff Bezos.  I'm going to watch again, bc he speaks so fast.

For the record, my 19 and 21 yo daughters both say they won't allow their future children on the computer before they're 18yo. 

[eyesopen]

Thank you for writing this, I'm happy I found it. Thanks to you, I started watching some of CJ the X's videos and I really enjoy his take on things as well as the style of his videos.

I've seen Coraline a number of times. My daughter (8) was just watching it last week. Every time I've seen the movie, I've somehow categorized the Beldam in my mind as a monster. By that I mean that it's evil and therefore doesn't have the personality, motivations, or character depth that human characters do.

But watching his analysis of the movie got me to recognize that the monster is so much more human and more vulnerable than I ever previously considered. And your comparison to real life predators, abusers, and manipulators makes it stand out to me even more.

I watched another video of his about the kid's show Miraculous. My daughter really loves that show and I've seen most of the episodes. I actually kind of enjoy it and CJ the X's take on it opened my eyes even more to how the show delves into personalities, emotions, trauma, depression, toxic relationships, and more.

Anyway, thanks for exposing me to CJ the X. He does great, thoughtful work. He's also diagnosed BPD as he mentioned in his video about When Marnie Was There, which combined with his life experiences gives his analysis an interesting take that's well versed on emotions, therapy, and trauma.

[hhaw]

Thanks, eyes open:

You'll enjoy CJ's The X's essay on Bo Burnham vs Jeff Bezos too, I think.

It will likely impact your choices regarding your DD's time on electronics.

It's 2.5 hours long, but super informative and worth the time.

[hhaw]

You're welcome, EWO.

My youngest dd19 shared CJ The X with me and it helps bridge gaps.  Maybe some day you'll share him with your DD.