Google for the win

Started by Liketheducks, February 18, 2022, 04:02:12 PM

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Liketheducks

February 18, 2022, 04:02:12 PM
I have a little validation from this.   

Google parent estranged from adult child.   SO.MANY.websites offering good advice on how to fix this.   There is a plethora of articles on how a parent can take responsibility and initiate a healthy dialog.   Thousands of websites dedicated to doing it the right way.   Making sure to acknowledge the adult child's pain and rationale for NC.   Thousands!   

I really think that if they wanted to move forward, they simply would.   It isn't rocket science.   I am utterly sick of people saying "but it's your mom...or it's your only father".    How about....."that's your child"..."why would you treat them thus"?!   Children don't have any choice in being born, yet we're expected to suck up so much in dysfunctional families.   No, I'm not going to stand by for continued abuse just because you got lucky or unlucky 50+ years ago.   

With the caveat that I'm certain I will have passed on some dysfunction to my kiddo.....and will fully work to help him overcome whatever I can in his future.....

Where is the sense of responsibility???     I'm just over the entitlement.    Here ends the rant.   

Starboard Song

#1
February 18, 2022, 04:31:19 PM
 :yeahthat:
Radical Acceptance, by Brach   |   Self-Compassion, by Neff    |   Mindfulness, by Williams   |   The Book of Joy, by the Dalai Lama and Tutu
Healing From Family Rifts, by Sichel   |  Stop Walking on Egshells, by Mason    |    Emotional Blackmail, by Susan Forward

moglow

#2
February 18, 2022, 05:21:52 PM
Ltd is my new hero!!! YES dammit - where IS the sense of responsibility from the *parents*? Why is it somehow the "child's" responsibility to fix everything, to make amends,  to appease mommy and daddy when they're upset? Why is the child the bad guy? Why must there BE a bad guy?!

Thank you for this one!

"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
"Expectations are disappointments under construction." ~Capn Spanky, The Nook circa 2005ish

D.

#3
February 18, 2022, 07:24:52 PM
Great way to describe how ignorance is a CHOICE.  I agree with what you descibe 100%.  And my kids are grown and yes I made mistakes, and yes we talk about them.  That's how healthy people have relationships with their adult children.  Thanks, I will remember this  :)

Hilltop

#4
February 18, 2022, 07:40:01 PM
Yep  LikeTheDucks it's so true isn't it.  Why is it always on one person to fix everything.  Where does the parents responsibility ever come into it?

I mean to me it's pretty easy, stop putting others down and they won't be upset with you.  Show kindness and people will be happier.  I just can't understand how they insult and put me down but then seem confused when I am upset by that. 

They are simply too hard work, like you say they could Google thousands of articles to help themselves.  I am feeling so peaceful to now leave it with them.

Danden

#5
February 19, 2022, 09:41:42 AM
I think that, like everything else in life, you can only get something if you want it.  A good thing will not just land in your lap, all on its own.  You have to want it.  Then, maybe, you will get it.  Maybe not. 

But, if you don't want it in the first place, there is never a chance of getting it.  Because you are not even thinking about it. 
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