Unexpected (temporary) relief from lonliness

[Associate of Daniel]

Reflecting on the recent horribleness from uNPD exH has made me realise something.

During the past few weeks of his abuse I've stopped thinking about my wish to have a partner.

I've reverted to the whole giving up on the entire human race thing.  I haven't the energy to deal with people, toxic or otherwise.

It's not a good place to be but it does bring relief from the sometimes overwhelming need/want for a partner and the lonliness is temporarily gone.

I'm thankful that (I've learned) these down times are temporary and becoming shorter and less frequent.

In the meantime I'm enjoying the relief that this latest bout of abuse has brought.

AOD

[SonofThunder]

AoD,

Im so sorry that you experience the periodic loneliness regarding a partner.  You are truly not alone in your experiences. 

I am so glad I am here among others who understand what I... what WE go through in dealing with PD's.  WE are not alone! 😊  As far as the human race, I have new hope and joy because of people like you; a part of this huge crowd of caring, truly loving, kind folks here on Out of the FOG that understand and walk the same trail...together!  We understand each other. 😃

My thoughts and prayers for you for decreasing feelings of loneliness, increasing calm and joy, as you experience and find (even small) things to be thankful for.

SoT

[Associate of Daniel]

Thanks, SoT.

Yes, this community is life saving and I'm so grateful to God for bringing it to my attention several years ago.

I find my prayers are usually mostly thankfulness - and for the seemingly little things.  My paid for home, the trees and birds around me, the quiet at night, my jobs, my family, my health, etc.  The foundational things that many take for granted.  These things are huge to me when I think of where I might have ended up (physically, mentally and spiritually) after uNPD left.

The other "big" things (holidays, fancy cars, eating out, career, big house etc) don't interest me, thankfully.  I "live" vicariously through my amazing niece and nephew who are achieving incredible heights in their early 20s and are living "the life", thanks to their rich parents and their own large earning capacities.

I'm very happy just watching and cheering them on from the sidelines.

But the sporadic loneliness and disappointment in people is difficult.

I fully expect to contract Covid any day now.  I work in several schools and there are many cases at all of them.  So I bought some paint yesterday with which to paint the kitchen cupboards.  That should keep me busy during the 7 days of isolation.  And it will help me to feel better about myself (and my house).  I'm looking forward to it. (Not the Covid bit!)

AOD

[1footouttadefog]

I am the opposite at least in my head.i imagine that when I am set free from my current status I will fly free and immediately make up for lost time. 

In reality I have no idea what dating would be like but am optimistic I can and will find another partner when the time is proper to do so. 

Could be when I get there and find it's not so easy my tune will change but that hope and optimism help me feel less lonely now.