When last we spoke ...

[Cat of the Canals]

This is not the first time I've marveled at how skilled PDs are at keeping an argument going and going and going. I mean, this whole "DID YOU GET MY TEXT? I NEVER GET YOUR TEXTS." nonsense has been going on for years, it seems. How?????

I wondered in the past if she was lying about not getting your texts, because it seems absurd she wouldn't have worked it out by now. But then it occurred to me that it probably really drives her crazy to not get a response from you. If she's in the mood to send you a nasty message, by god, she wants a response. How else will she know if the torpedo hit its target?

[xredshoesx]

i'm still stuck on that part where you get her texts and send her texts back which she doesn't get but she demands it must be your phone making it so her phone can't see the texts....

happy birthday! 

[moglow]

Right?! And the needle has been stuck on that record for a couple of years now, coincidentally after she said she'd block me when I refused to follow her script. When I stood up for myself finally. All this after I'd finally unblocked her cell, after having blocked her for just this kind of shit. Funny how that works.

It's entirely possible that she knows exactly how it all works - send me a spiky text then block so she can truthfully say she didn't get my response. Forced attention. She was upset i didn't call after her text "but you know i don't get your responses, we've been over this!" And yet she sent another text asking if i got it ...

SSDD For years now. It hit me earlier - this round was triggered by text on my birthday. Not once in the several phone calls since did she say happy birthday, ask if I did anything special, etc. Not one word about it except to complain that I sent her a text last year, not even a call or card. Ummmm... hello pot kettle!

And thank you!! It's been quite a week, complete with cheesecake 😋

[moglow]

P.s. If your child ever finds the words to tell you that she's never felt good enough or cared for, don't tell her "now you know what it feels like." If that child then reminds you that you are the parent, the teacher, the leader, she learned what she knew and experienced over and over, what you reinforced for years... just stop there.

Please, if you value her on any level take a big deep cleansing breath and wait before you respond. Think it through. Don't lash out with your disappointments and hurt. Don't dredge that slimy ditch inside yet again and spew it all over her.

She wants something different this time, is begging for better from you. No one should have to do that. Be the parent, suck it up and listen even when it's hard. Because when you don't take that breath, when you refuse to listen and you shut her down yet again, you may well not get another chance. That's on you, mommie dearest, and there it will stay.

I'm not particularly proud of some things I said, others I'm truly glad I voiced finally. I can forgive her for the spite and nastiness, a lifetime of put downs and contempt and ridicule. It may take a while but I'll eliminate her voice in my head. I'm removing myself from that poison and will continue to shut it down with every means at my disposal.