how to draw back at a difficult time

[manuka]

can anyone suggest or post links to how to reduce contact with a friend who has become emotionally dependant on me and I need to set my own boundary. The reason it's become particularly difficult to do this is that she's just had a significant friend bereavement and is clearly wanting even more support at this time, just at a time I was already drawing back.

My thoughts, perhaps naively, is that by me taking longer to respond to messages recently, agreeing to meetings less frequently etc that a boundary shift for me would become apparent to her and she'd take stock. But we already know that it doesn't work that way and now a more firm message about my need for more space, particularly at her time of greatest need, seems risky in terms of her own mental health.

I have no idea how to assert my boundary for less contact without causing damage as she is already isolated and recently bereft. There are ways to do this, without suggesting she is in anyway at fault. Where is the MANUAL for this?!

[DistanceNotDefense]

Could you recommend a therapist to her? That may seem like an easy way out....and maybe say you really wish you could be there for her, but that you have a lot going on. Maybe send her links to therapists as a side too.

[manuka]

thankyou dnotd.

I've done exactly that and sticking with it.

[palmtreeparadise]

I'm sorta in a similar situation but I ended up cutting ties with my friend all together. Because the way she responded to me asking for space was uncalled for. She continually brings up that she's going through a lot and makes excuses for her behavior.
My advice to you is keep your distance and if it gets to that point then let her know you need space and see how she reacts to it. A friend who cares will respect that.