MC

[Deby64]

I've been using MC with some positive results for my nervous system; however, his rage is getting stronger as he wants more dialogue from me. I've responded several times with "I don't know what you want me to say". I'm using this because any response will not satisfy him. The intensity of his rage is scary, it's like I see a monster who wants to knock my head off. 🙏🏾

[MaxedOut]

That sounds scary and really concerning. MC (as opposed to gray rock) is designed to not trigger them as much.

Have you made a safety plan? I worked a bit on this and got great guidance from a staffer from a local DV agency.

My ex wasn't a batterer but rages and physical outbursts were common and she could get into states that were dangerous. Part of boundary work for me, included what to do when stuff started to get physical and scenarios, preparations, etc. for safety protection. Examples: having an old phone charged in case she broke another, carrying keys and phone in my pocket whenever she was getting aggressive, having pepper spray "for our safety" near doors and a couple other places, having code words with a trusted person that meant call police if texted or said in a call, having and emergency bag with change of clothes/toiletris/meds that I could access if leaving quickly, making lists of nearby safe places I could get to on foot and those I could drive to (with phone numbers), etc.

[Deby64]

Maxed out, thanks for the response. I don't have a safety plan. I'm just in shock that I truly do need one after 40 years of living in hell on earth. The code word is an awesome idea. Thanks