Not feeling good enough for (quality) man

[mary_poppins]

Hi all.
How did you overcome the narcissistic programming that makes you feel not good enough to be in a healthy and loving relationship?
I'm 39 and I was never in a loving relationship. Whenever I see a man I like somewhere, I'll do my best for him to not notice me or I'll hide somewhere ha ha. I once met a nice guy who seemed to have everything I wanted, good looks, politeness, kindness but as we went on a few dates, he revealed himself as being a covert narcissist.
So, in my head now there's this saying that I only attract these awful types and what's the point of trying anymore. The good ones (good looking and good in their heart) are out of reach.

Any thoughts on how to undo this?

[1footouttadefog]

I would take on a hobby or join a meetup group or volunteer somewhere  where you will be around people with very low risk and expectations.  Then just live and observe.  Notice how you feel about people and how they interact with the group. 

Pay special attention when you feel the same old attraction toward new friends.  Examine your attractions with skepticism.  Analyze what the red flags are.  Do this while being silent about it being careful not to overshare or become enmeshed with anyone that comes in strong.

Just being out in the world and living life around a mix of people is a great way to practice not getting sucked in by narcs.