Overtalking

[Freetobe]

Does your spouse do this, when anxiety triggered, and a conversation is coming my way or my 15 hr old son, the over explaining about given scenarios, and lecture on the given subject is so beat down, i feel like my brain is ready to implode. She says my son and I dont communicate, but its just we dont want to enter the lions den.

[bloomie]

Freetobe  - I call this on and on and onimus. And when this happens with someone I love it does feel like a complete domination to me and very uncomfortable.

I used to just stand there and go into freeze mode - my default trauma response - and I have learned to stay present and limit or even end the deluge of words.

[notrightinthehead]

I also used to go into freeze mode and endure the lecturing monologues for hours.  Eventually I learned to be enough in the present to notice what was going on and found an excuse to remove myself. ' I am sorry, I have this urgent thing I need to do, I almost forgot.'
There was no point to the discussion and it never came to a conclusion.

[1footouttadefog]

On and on and onamus is a good name for it.  We used to get this alot.  Any given topic or conversation would be derailed into something pdh wanted to talk about or into a topic he was triggered into wanting to lecture or rant about. 

Kids talking about a movie they wanted to see and the previous one in a series and next thing you know he is lecturing them about how movies were better when he was a kid and all the evils of Hollywood and etc etc. 

Or they are talking about music and he details it into what he liked and why his favorite singer is still well known etc etc etc.

If he is angry and you try to disengage he starts tossing out negativity to get you to argue.  If you don't take the bate he will criticize friends or family in some way to try to reel you in. 

At some point I realized I could not get him past a circular argument or lecture so when he interrupts me more than a couple times I say, this is a one way conversation so I don't need to participate by listening if I cannot talk.

[Wardog]

My wife's motto is "Never use a word when a sentence will do, never use a sentence when a paragraph will do, never use a paragraph when an essay will do."  I once timed  her speaking continuously, seemingly without even taking a breath, for 22 minutes and 37 seconds.