Leaving the relationship

[april867]

Hi all,

I just wanted to vent about the situation I'm in. My ex has been squatting in my apartment for five weeks (while I pay the rent) while I stay with family and come up with a plan to get him out. I left town on the day that we agreed he would vacate. He has never paid his share of rent and he owes me thousands of dollars. When I told him it was time to leave, he approached me drunk on the street while I was hanging out with friends and accused me of "making him live under a bridge", pretended to cut his throat with a razor blade he had in his pocket in front of me, and then followed me down the street when I tried to get away.

I haven't gone no contact yet because he's still in my house. In the past 48 hours, he has referred to me as "cancer", claimed he was going to go to a judge who would be able to see my medical records (a threat about my mental health, since I've been hospitalized twice in psychiatric institutions due to my reactions to his abuse), and told me I'm spiraling and should get checked for borderline personality disorder. Then he did a 180 and called and texted me nonstop that we need to talk and that he's sorry and loves me. It's absolutely insane and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just want to get him out and cut ties so I never have to think about him again.

[bloomie]

HI and welcome. What an awful experience your last interaction had to have been for you. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like you are putting together a plan to move him out and are safe with family. That is very good news.

In terms of staying in touch... there is a really helpful tool to assess the risk you are facing along with contacting a domestic violence organization for in real life help as you exit this relationship. I want to offer a few resources here for you:

http://thehotline.org - for great articles and targeted, expert help in the area of DV. Including live chat/phone conversations.
Emergency Resources - including international organizations: https://outofthefog.website/emergency
And the tool I mentioned above that is free and another way to think all of this through: https://www.mosaicmethod.com

We offer support to people in relationships or ending relationship, recovering from difficulties having had a relationship with a person they believe may be suffering from a personality disorder. The drop down tabs above have a good deal of information that you may find really helpful - the toolbox and traits info have been especially helpful to me.

The conversations taking place on the forum boards with others are validating and help us build tools and equip us as we heal and move forward. We have a board for those ending relationships with domestic partners and it is found here: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?board=8.0

Take a look around at all the forum has to offer and when you are ready join the conversations. We welcome you!