Whoops

[Kat54]

Looking back, this is so stupid. Had family visiting for a family birthday party for my nephew who was turning 40. My ex was invited, which was fine. He's very tangled with my family since he lives next to one sister and behind another sister. For the sake of my kids my sisters made sure there would be no rifts or  bad feelings so they all have been pretty amicable with him.
It was my older sisters sons 40th surprise party. Everyone had fun and I didn't even speak with my ex until I left. We saw each other and I didn't want to be rude and walk past him and leave. So gave him a hug and said "love you" !!!!
What the heck was I thinking!!  Ok had a couple drinks but was not drunk. I kept thinking after the fact, shoot that was so stupid. It was more an endearing thing. I've caught myself saying honey to him once or twice and I would wince in embarrassment.
But Of course the next day I stop at my sisters and she asks what did I say to my ex.
He's telling everyone he was so happy that I still love him and maybe we can be civil, blah blah blah.
He drove me away, and yes I finally left from verbal abuse. 
Told my sister it was a passing comment and it was.
I feel like an idiot. He's always played  the victim and saying that I feel like helps validate him. I've tried to keep a civil relationship but definitely not best buds and I love you.

[Empie2204]

@Kat54
Although you feel a bit stupid as you have stated, I think you should not worry about that .
You just showed you are a  normal human being.
Whenever I hear about couples who parted but remained civil to each other, I feel a pang of pain. I assume this is so with all of us who dealt with narcissists but that' s the way it is.
It's like two completely different and incompatible species, where one of them understands and the other not.
Just keep living. If he demands some further development, explain him the facts of life without worrying if he understands them or not. 

[notrightinthehead]

There is a big difference between not being rude and hugging and saying I love you.
I can only speculate, maybe you were so grateful that you were allowed to be with your family when normally he keeps you out, maybe alcohol has that kind of effect on you, that it makes you love the world and everybody in it. Even the man who abused you for years. Whatever made you do it - what is your plan to prevent it from happening again?
I would seriously look into that, conflicting feelings within me, behaviour that is not in accordance with my real feelings, inauthentic behaviour. Maybe this event will allow you to learn more about yourself and get to know yourself even better.

[feralcat]

I think that sometimes we do things without thinking. Especially when it involves observing a social convention, with someone who was familiar. Old phrases just slip out, because they're what we were conditioned to say.
There must have been an overwhelming relief , having got through an evening being so close to your Ex. And your mind was probably focussed on getting past him. What to do to escape, safely.

Please don't beat yourself up. It means nothing, whatever he's going around saying. He's a PD , remember ?
( ps . At my sons wedding, my abusive Ex came up to me, followed by his Unpd W , and threw his arms around me!  I similarly didn't want to cause awkwardness and instead froze. What's the alternative ? Cause a scene ? I have told my son since that I will nuke him if he tries that again. Which is unlikely as poor DS is very unlikely to invite us both to things at the same time . Mind you, the event did kill off any vestigial - in me- idealised notions of amicability )

Could you not have a word with your sisters, to admit the drink made you say something-  regrettable , human, and totally untrue ? " Haha, yeah that was a bit embarrassing, but probably better than decking him. Now I'll have to avoid him like the plague in case he gets ideas"

[Call Me Cordelia]

I love NRITH's response. How can you profit from your mistake?

I also agree this is not the end of the world. He'll spin it how he'll spin it, but he seems out touch to say the least. If you didn't talk to him all evening until you left, then it was a hug, love ya, goodbye, that's not much of a basis for hope there.

[bee well]

I also agree that notrightinthehead's response was right on...

I wouldn't beat yourself up about what happened but it is a very slippery slope you were on. In my view it doesn't matter what he thinks and its not your job to clarify his thoughts about it. If I were in your shoes I would thank goodness it didn't go any further than that,

[Kat54]

Rest assured, it would never go any further as he is the most far out thing from my mind. Grateful everyday for the peace in my life. Would never trade it.