WHY is he doing this?

[mary_poppins]

My father is so covert and disturbed that I believe there is no cure for him. Some who are not experienced in narcissism may think that this is not that bad. But I believe it is.
So, I was out all day today and he called me (he calls once a year for my birthday-I don't exist outside this 'event') but my phone battery died. Later on, my brother told me that dad called and he couldn't find you on the phone and he was worried, bla bla. I come home (i live with them) and there I was. He does not come out of his room to ask why couldn't be reach me. Guess what? He is going to my mother to ask her if I came home and..I guess he probably asked her to ask me why didn't I answer the phone. 

As of now I am in the 'silent treatment' treatment from my father and it is funny and tragic in the same time. By the way, he does this very often.
He knows I am home, yet he asks my mother if I am home or if I have eaten. He doesn't even once attempt to have a conversation with me, to clarify things with me. It is unbelievable, no one has ever behaved like this with me-not even my mother and SHE is the 'scary' narcissist in my family. Does any of you know why he's doing this?

Also, if you have examples of your own, pls share.

[Srcyu]

Right, I'll give it a whirl if I may.
In his eyes you failed him by not being able to take his call when he rang.  He can't deal with that. You were supposed to answer him. You didn't. He can't ask you directly about it because that would mean acknowledging that you had the upper hand by being uncontactable. He feels foolish and livid. There was only one small window of opportunity he was going to give you and .........
so now, he must punish you by refusing to 'see' you. Keeping you firmly where he needs you to be, standing around wondering why he won't speak.
He won't because you had your only  chance with that failed call.

That's just the way it seems to me. I hope it might help a little.

[mary_poppins]

Thanks, Windmill.

You are right, he does all that. To tell you the truth, I never realized he's a narcissist-only in 2021 I saw signs of it. But now I see he is a covert narc.
It is shocking to see his true colors because he was the parent who made jokes, lightened up the atmosphere in the house and tried to keep the appearances, while mom was vile 24/7, full of contempt for her kids.

Btw, he didn't mention that he tried to call me and today he acts as if nothing happened. Well, at least I won't be spending time thinking about this very silly manipulation of his. Life's too short.

[NarcKiddo]

I can sort of relate.

When I twigged my mother is a narc I thought my father was the enabler.

The more I consider him, the more I think he is a narc too. But more covert and distant.

He left everything to do with the children to my mother and it would certainly not be unusual for him to ask my mother a question about me or my sister rather than asking us directly. I used to think this was because she was the narc and "in charge" of us so he thought it wiser to channel everything through her. That may be true whether or not he is a narc himself. I don't get the feeling my own father is trying to manipulate or control us by essentially ignoring us. I think we simply don't matter all that much. He will step up when asked to by my mother. I have only once asked him to step up, and that was only to call my mother's bluff because she told me he wanted to visit me after an operation and I knew he would never express such a wish. So when I said he could visit, and asked outright if he had asked to visit, he said he had not asked to visit, but of course was then obliged to do so.

I don't suppose this helps much in relation to your particular situation - but your post made me want to reply.