I have covid and NMum is encouraging me to break iso

[Hattie]

So I came down with covid a couple of days ago. I'm ill but ok basically.

I wasn't going to tell my mum, but she texted me specifically to say my sister-in-law had it and to ask me if I was healthy... so then I let the cat out of the bag.

Then today she's been texting me to encourage me to break iso and go to the community garden where I grow vegetables. Also insisting on sending me something even though I don't want to answer the door whilst isolating. Argh! WTF?

I think she is:
1) trying to make it all about herself,
2) trying to pick a fight with me as usual,
3) is entitled and think that rules don't apply

Why can't I just have a normal mum who asks me how I'm doing and tells me that she hopes I get well soon!

I don't want to deal with passive aggressive BS whilst ill!!

So little empathy 

[Boat Babe]

Oh that's just so horrible Hattie. You deserve the complete opposite of what your mother does. We all deserved a good enough childhood. Plus, being ill you're going to be more vulnerable. Do some simple breathing exercises to get you into a calmer space and then maybe sit with the feeling for a short while. See where it leads using compassionate inquiry. Comfort your inner child.

Huge hugs.

[p123]

I had that during lockdown. At one point here in Wales, you weren't allowed to leave you're own county.....
Dad lives 2-3 counties away, brother lives same county a mile away. I was well pleased I didn't have to visit!

Dad tried to make ok he was exempt because "I was a carer for a seriously ill person". Neither correct!
Stupid brother continued to visit, even took him out in the car which was not clever.

Of course, it was all my fault and I was the evil son for not visiting him.

[Andeza]

Darned if you do, darned if you don't. My gut is telling me if you broke isolation she'd rub your face in it for the rest of her life.

Feel better soon! I'd drop some food and stuff (tissues, etc) on your porch and run if I were your neighbor.

[Liketheducks]

Get well soon, Hattie.    I had it about 3 weeks ago.    Seriously, she's asking YOU to go to the community garden while ill?    Even without covid, shouldn't she be asking how she may help you to feel better?     

[bee well]

Hi Hattie,
I'm sorry you've got Covid. Be good to yourself, and take care of your needs. Please get as much rest as you can, it's essential to your healing. (Even if that means tuning out Mum, easier said that done.)..Hugs to you!

[Cat of the Canals]

Oh I wish I could drop some soup on your doorstep, Hattie! It's so frustrating that they can't even pretend to care or show concern. 

Rest a lot and feel better soon!

[Hattie]

Thank you all for your kind and wise replies! It was a bit triggering but I'm OK. The trouble with mama is that she's so covert, it's hard to call out in the moment...

I know sending me something might seem like generosity but hopefully the people on this forum can understand that in the narcissistic family, it's some kind of bizarre sh*t test.

I was able to look after myself today. Spent most of the afternoon lazing around in the garden with my cat, and doing some sewing. Thank you for your encouragement!

I have some friends who have offered to drop groceries round if I need them but I appreciate your thoughts anyway xx

[donutmoonpanda]

I'm so sorry you're sick! I hope you get well soon!

I wasn't going to tell my mum, but she texted me specifically to say my sister-in-law had it and to ask me if I was healthy... so then I let the cat out of the bag.

Gosh, I just feel like I'm realizing that I can never really tell my mom the truth. Like it's literally easier for my peace of mind to never "let the cat of the bag." Whether that's with my health or anything else. It will somehow be all about her. I've seen this scenario play out in my own life a million times 

[Cat of the Canals]

Gosh, I just feel like I'm realizing that I can never really tell my mom the truth. Like it's literally easier for my peace of mind to never "let the cat of the bag." Whether that's with my health or anything else. It will somehow be all about her. I've seen this scenario play out in my own life a million times 

Same. I felt guilty about it for literally decades before I realized I was gray rocking to protect myself.

[nanotech]

I'm sorry you have covid! Guess what I've got it too at the moment!  It's not pleasant at all.
No idea why  your mum would tell you to go out!
When I rang and told my UNPDDAD, he told me that it was 'a shame', and where did i think I'd picked it up from?  I don't play those  speculating/ blaming  games any more, so I gray rocked that. 
The next day when I rang him  ( to give him an address he'd asked for) he remarked on my croaky, thick  voice and expressed great surprise that I sounded ill!
Later, my husband said, ' What does your dad expect? You have covid.'
I tested positive on Monday and it's Thursday night and I've begun to feel a bit better. I'm still isolating of course and will continue to do the right thing. Perhaps it's us looking noble through adversity that they really can't stand! Could be that.
I do hope you feel better soon.
At one point on the phone my dad asked about where I'd been that day- had I seen the news? Yes dad of course I had! I'm in all the time atm! he forgot I was isolating. I had to remind him. Or was he just ignoring it? You know how they play down something they don't wish to acknowledge?  With my parents it was always a certain dismissive tone, sometimes they'd yawn, look away, ( You can do this on the phone too, I can/ could always tell when they've turned their head from the handset) then they'd move the conversation on to other things.
It was as if he didn't want to know that this thing of getting covid  had happened to me. He's terrified of catching it. I've obviously triggered his fears for himself!  He's got a big party planned for September you see, and he wants to feel relaxed about it! Whoops sorry dad!

Remember to drink plenty of water! Get well soon, take care. xxxxx

[easterncappy]

I had COVID last year. I remember feeling just terrible, and crying when I got the test results back. It was the most miserable month (yes, month) of my life. My parents' response? "Ha, so you have a little cold?". When I had to go to the ER with severe shortness of breath, they instead told me to "sit outside on a cold bench" (????????) and "stop using scented candles" (my dad screamed this one at me angrily, as if scented candles caused viral illnesses?) to fix the shortness of breath. I went to the ER and got a prescription from a medical professional instead, of course. Then my mom got COVID and magically dropped the tough guy act, she was literally sobbing from pain and hers was as bad as mine... and a month ago she made more jokes about how it's "just a cold". Some people, I swear.

Get some protein shakes and remember to eat something every couple of hours even if it tastes awful. If you don't, you might end up in the ER like I did. Acid reflux, inflammation, etc. get really bad but pepcid and ibuprofen are your friend. It might feel like it drags out forever but it is going to end, I promise.

[Hattie]

Hope you are helping a bit better now, nanotech.  I am still a bit woozy, and still testing positive, but getting better.

Easterncappy- sorry to hear your covid went on for a month! Poor you, sounds ghastly.

And I'm so sorry to hear about all the family drama you both had to endure whilst ill. We deserve a medal each, honestly

[nanotech]

Hope you are helping a bit better now, nanotech.  I am still a bit woozy, and still testing positive, but getting better.

Easterncappy- sorry to hear your covid went on for a month! Poor you, sounds ghastly.

And I'm so sorry to hear about all the family drama you both had to endure whilst ill. We deserve a medal each, honestly

I am thanks I had a faint positive reading this morning but I just retested and I'm negative! 
Yes that fatigue is tricky!  Yesterday I was really woozy but today I'm much better all of a sudden- it won't be long now! Hug

[nanotech]

I had COVID last year. I remember feeling just terrible, and crying when I got the test results back. It was the most miserable month (yes, month) of my life. My parents' response? "Ha, so you have a little cold?". When I had to go to the ER with severe shortness of breath, they instead told me to "sit outside on a cold bench" (????????) and "stop using scented candles" (my dad screamed this one at me angrily, as if scented candles caused viral illnesses?) to fix the shortness of breath. I went to the ER and got a prescription from a medical professional instead, of course. Then my mom got COVID and magically dropped the tough guy act, she was literally sobbing from pain and hers was as bad as mine... and a month ago she made more jokes about how it's "just a cold". Some people, I swear.

Get some protein shakes and remember to eat something every couple of hours even if it tastes awful. If you don't, you might end up in the ER like I did. Acid reflux, inflammation, etc. get really bad but pepcid and ibuprofen are your friend. It might feel like it drags out forever but it is going to end, I promise.

Sooo annoying that they think a little fresh air is going to cure breathing problems!!
I agree about the need to eat as often as you can, despite the taste!  And water, of course. Xx