Listening to the body

[Breadroll]

Reading one of the sticky threads.

It really is huge- yet I still find myself overriding the instinct to disengage, in order to be «  be nice ». A work in progress

After a conversation today with a «  friend » - was thinking how uncomfortable it felt. On alert.  Boundaries have helped but still get that feeling.   Another formerly close «  friend » also have caution about, having discovered they discussed my private issues with others.  My body feels closed down around her.

I have had a boundary in place for over a year of « nothing personal » with both of these people. It's both sad and necessary, and wish I had listened to my body earlier.

Other friends,almost feels relaxing when I see them- getting the hang of  listening to  body - and boundaries.

[bloomie]

Breadroll - What important connections you are making!  I appreciate this topic. I am convinced learning to honor what our bodies are telling us is foundational to our creating a safe enough space around us to heal in.

Like it sounds like you are, I am in observation mode these days and am fascinated by those who listen to their bodies innately and/or have learned to listen and honor the information their bodies are giving them.

I am having similar awakenings around a long time friend. And it is sad... and it is long over due and necessary! 

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Probably one of the biggest ways I used to abandon myself was to argue with my intuition (which notified my body) about why "they" were good and should be given what they want, including as much access to my life as they wanted even though it made me very uncomfortable.  And to the warning signals I'd just say "You're just being paranoid."  This MO did not work well for me.

There's a book The Gift of Fear a friend gave me years ago which talks about how there are cues below our conscious level that tell us when we should be wary.  It may just be a vague sense, but we ignore that at our own peril.  And when narc-ish people try to talk me out of my feelings/choices, telling me I'm being unreasonable (or much worse) ?  That just reinforces my original choice that I'd rather decline.

[JustKeepTrying]

It's hard isn't it? If I had listened my life would be so different. When I do listen, and feel it in my body as I think about my options or the people in my life, my life flows better. It's so much smoother and calmer when I listen to my body and quietly disengage when it becomes stressed around someone. But it's hard because you want to give people a chance