Blocked NMum whilst recovering from covid

[Hattie]

Hi all, just wanted to share that I just blocked my uB/NPD Mum on WhatsApp for the first time! Feel quite relieved. I've had covid for 10 days and am still testing positive and struggling to get better. She has been spamming me with random needy crap all day and I just couldn't take it anymore. Feels good to have taken control. I'll unblock her when I'm better but right now she just needs to do one

[Andeza]

Yup, just like a toddler yanking on your sleeve over and over and over, sometimes they just need a timeout.

You take care of yourself Covid is no fun and it sounds like you got one of the longer lasting varieties. Extra no fun.

She's only pestering you because she's legitimately trying to compete with your covid for your attention, as weird, wrong, and crazy as that sounds.

[Hattie]

Thanks Andeza! She legit is Oh dear!

Starting to feel a bit better today but it has been a bit of a slog

[Starboard Song]

It is sooo OK to do that. Sometimes you just need the break.

When it comes time to open back up, be prepared with a raft full of white lies to explain the "outage."  :-)

[Cat of the Canals]

When it comes time to open back up, be prepared with a raft full of white lies to explain the "outage."  :-)

Like, "Oh, you sent messages? I've been so out of it, I haven't even checked."

My advice would be to leave her blocked.  My PDmom used to pester me via phone, Facebook, Googlechat, email... thankfully she's never figured out plain old texting. I blocked her on Gchat and stopped responding to her Facebook messages. I don't reply to emails unless there's a specific question, which is rare -- usually it's just her trying to not-so-subtly guilt trip me into calling. That leaves the phone, and 90% of the time, I let her calls go to voicemail and only call back when I'm ready. It's a vast improvement on where I was 2 years ago. 

[Hattie]

Thank you, guys. It is nice to have the validation that it's OK to do this.

This morning she called my house phone, which she never normally does, so she obviously realises she's been blocked. I didn't answer. I wish she would just leave me alone! I mean, take the hint! I unplugged the house phone now too

Idk,I think I'm getting tired of grey rocking her so maybe I'll just be honest when I do eventually talk to her, and tell her that I can't emotionally support her when I'm ill. I am just going to focus on my recovery now though.

This stuff makes me SO angry.

[sunshine702]

When you are sick or going through something very serious you just don't have the Operating Space  for their Crazytown.

During my divorce I blocked my moms number.  It was so painful that I just could not deal with her and I knew it.   They would not have my best interest at heart anyway.  That is a reason to talk to someone then for healing and soothing.   I knew if I told her something it would be stored to throw back in my face.  You do not need people like that around when you are wounded

[Hattie]

That is a good way of putting it!!

I hear you, my mum acted really weird when I split with my ex, and tried to make it all about her.

I'm feeling quite a bit better, so I unblocked her and she launched something of a hoover by phone. All of a sudden she cares about the fact I was ill. Now that I'm better. Hmmm.

Well the little holiday was relaxing; I might do it again sometime

[moglow]

Just a thought - It helped me to have md's calls go straight to voicemail, silence notifications for her texts. That way I could return calls [or not] later, rather than feeling pushed to respond rightthisminute. I also learned to not respond when I was feeling "less than" in any way, whether sick, tired, depressed or just not having a good day. The bully in her had a knack for honing in on any perceived weakness, she'd kick me when I was down at every opportunity.

[Hattie]

I already do that, chum! It still stresses me out when I open WhatsApp and see her messages though. I felt calmer with her on block 🚫