Emotional...

[StartingHealing]

Hello y'all,

Was wondering if I could ask those who have been through the ringer and came out on the other side,  how did you navigate your situation(s) to get to the other side?

Thanks

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

Here is what helped me: time, therapy, letting to of what's not important,( yes....money is included here), faith, putting myself first, information, my job, my son, and embracing life's small pleasures. Being Out of the FOG is fabulous   

It's been hard, but worth it.

[StartingHealing]

Here is what helped me: time, therapy, letting to of what's not important,( yes....money is included here), faith, putting myself first, information, my job, my son, and embracing life's small pleasures. Being Out of the FOG is fabulous   

It's been hard, but worth it.

Thank you.  It helps to see others that have been through it, and have come out of the other side. 

[1footouttadefog]

I am goi g to assume you mean the other side of tumhe emotional impact of coming out  of the fog and all that entails.

For me framing it as  grief  and the death or a relationship, death of self identity as spouse etc, death or who I thought I had married and been in love with, ie the death if the false PS self portrayed to me that I had fallen for.  Death of ever fixing it all, death of of all those lost years and opportunities sacrificed to the falseness. 

I allowed my self to understand and feel these staged as they came in each area.  I also recognized I did not have to pick up where Ileft off that I was allowed to be an all new me.  One that had been forever changed by my experiences as well as lost experiences and opportunities. 

I set out to find out who I am today and hit the reset on all goals and hobbies that no longer rang true.  I also re evaluated all friendships. 

I hope you find your way to tue other side soon and that your emotions will be positive ones that reflect, growth, strength and healing. 

[StartingHealing]

 

Starting on my journey.

[bohemian butterfly]

I have been out of my relationship now for almost a year and 5 months and although some days at the beginning of the break up were challenging, to me it was all worth it. 

This is what I did.

I posted frequently on this forum (these folks are top notch and life savers).  I also went through the forum and read past posts and responses (so very helpful)

Kept a diary (but kept it secure/hidden)

Therapy

YouTube videos (Lisa Romano, Crappy Childhood Fairy)

Made an escape plan

Prayed/meditated

But I am not going to lie, I still have days when I think, "what if I had stayed, was it so bad?" And when this happens, I log onto this forum and reread all my past posts; this action yanks me back to reality, and I remember why I broke it off. 

I also have not dated.  I have zero desire to date.  I need a break, I need to rest.  I still feel like I need to reclaim/refind myself because if I don't, I'm going to tumble (nosedive) into another dysfunctional relationship and I can't do that. 

The last two years of the relationship, the break up, and the months after the break up were emotional, but I just prayed, and wept, and wrote, and talked to my therapist, and I just vowed to claw myself through it. I realized the temporary pain that I'd feel during the break up, and the days/weeks afterwards would be less painful than if I stayed with somebody that I just couldn't be with and that caused my soul to weep.