Catching fleas

[easterncappy]

It's humbling. Children start off as clean slates and throughout their formative years, they learn how to act from those around them. Even as an adult, being around someone for long enough means you start picking up subtle things about their humor or way of speaking... usually these are good things. Mom and dad are supposed to guide you towards good decision making skills and healthy morals, and who wouldn't want to tell jokes like their friend does?

Then, you realize you picked up something nasty.

One example for me... I was at lunch with a group of people in my late teens. Some of them I knew, some of them were people that knew the people I knew. The lunch was paid for by someone's parents in the group. I commented on the sausage, and the fruit that was being served... it was so greasy, the fruit smelled like sweat. I didn't dislike it, I was just talking. "Or, you could be appreciative of the delicious lunch that (person's parents) are paying for!". I felt terrible because I realized it soudned like I was complaining. Why did I do that? Because growing up, my dad was never able to say a single nice thing about anything ever. He'd complain and complain and complain... and demand you agree with him. If you didn't like it, he got angry and said "What, so I'm not allowed to complain a little bit?". He had a huge complex about how his life is just oh-so-terrible, so he's entitled to behave poorly and unpleasantly all of the time. If he got a phone call and was asked how he's doing, he'd immediately go into a sarcastic "oh, just FANTASTIC... absolutely WONDERFUL... nothing could be better!" rant... so, I still have some habitual complaining to sort out, but at least I'm aware of it.

Another thing was when I realized I picked up his sense of humor. I always hated his sense of humor. It was rude, cruel, vulgar, invasive, out of place, and if you didn't like it... he got maaaaad. It's like he almost demanded laughter, even if you had to force it and pretend what he said was funny. I never took it quite that far, but one day, I remember questioning myself and going "Really? You don't even like what you're saying, Cappy. Snap out of it. This is your dad talking". He always insisted that I'd miss his invasive and rude humor if he ever stopped... I still don't miss it, but I'm glad I stopped unintentionally copying it!

[NarcKiddo]

Yes, I fear I have more fleas than a junkyard dog. At least I know to look out for them so they can be squashed, one by miserable one.