What is this behavior? To outsiders he acts like I'm 'the boss'

[Kitbit]

So validating to read these comments. How are they all the same?? To the original poster I would say it is a classic example of covert narcissism in action. I struggle because exnpd is covert at times (mainly around others) but then when that doesn't work the mask will slip and out will come the raging bully. Sadly after awhile he didn't even pretend anymore around others when we were together. Or he would get a kick out of pulling my strings in front of others.

[BeautifulCrazy]

My OCPDh used to do this. He didn't have any narc traits, covert or overt. It was just another way he attempted image management around people he didn't know, or didn't see very often. To him this seemed to show that he was such a great guy, always deferring to the woman. He also used it to imply he was the victim of a picky and domineering wife (certainly not based in reality). Around women, even women who knew better, he would use this to show that he was meek and gentle and respectful (also not reality based).