Shaking my head.

[Associate of Daniel]

I couldn't help but shake my head in bemusement at an ironic moment the other night.

Ds15 had one of his friends around for dinner.  They've been friends for around 6 or 7 years and I've come to know this young man fairly well. He's had some difficult times and seems quite comfortable carrying on a conversation with me, for which I'm thankful.

But I wasn't expecting the conversation topic of the other night.  He opened up to me about currently experiencing his first heart break.  He's been seeing his girlfriend for about 18 months. (Not bad going for a 15 year old in this day and age.). He told me of his tears and pain, his reasons for breaking things off etc. I was very surprised at him opening up to me like he did, completely out of the blue.

The converstation was brief and I was left in bewilderment.  This isn't the first time I've had a person from a younger generation opening up to me about their love life.  Why?

I'm the worst person anyone should open up to or seek relationship advice from.  I've only had one relationship and it was a disaster. I know nothing about normal relationships with normal people.  Why do people feel they can speak to me about their relationship woes?

The irony was amusing to say the least.

AOD.

[SonofThunder]

Hello AoD,

In your description of his opening up to you, you did not convey wording related to his seeking advice, but rather his trust in you to be a good listener, good empathizer and a good parental-aged friend.  I can assume also that he demonstrated by his opening up to you, that he trusts you with sensitive and private information.   

You may not have experiences in a romantic relationship with a mentally healthy adult, but you clearly are a person this young man perceives as having excellent attributes.  Im going to go out on a limb also and guess that most animals want to be near you as well.  Congratulations on being that kind of wonderful, needed human being we need more of on this planet. 

SoT

[Poison Ivy]

 

[Starboard Song]

you did not convey wording related to his seeking advice, but rather his trust in you to be a good listener, good empathizer and a good parental-aged friend.  I can assume also that he demonstrated by his opening up to you, that he trusts you with sensitive and private information.   

Im going to go out on a limb also and guess that most animals want to be near you as well. 

That time when SoT nailed it for AoD.

[practical]

What a wonderful compliment, like SoT points out, he was able to pick up on your ability to listen, your caring personality. He could trust you to make him feel seen and heard.

[SonofThunder]

What a wonderful compliment, like SoT points out, he was able to pick up on your ability to listen, your caring personality. He could trust you to make him feel seen and heard.

Agree.  I will add that AoD wrote in the original post:

"They've been friends for around 6 or 7 years and I've come to know this young man fairly well. He's had some difficult times and seems quite comfortable carrying on a conversation with me, for which I'm thankful."

AoD has developed a track record with this young man. A record of loving kindness, openness and time spent getting to know him. Not in judgement, but in understanding and empathy.  The trust that practical states, is imo, earned over years by AoD. 

This story is such an encouragement for us adults, (even us who have had "one relationship and its a disaster"} to realize that we can make such a difference in the world, by using our traits (even ones honed in hardship) in allowing the next generation to experience loving/caring kindness. We can lead by example of what friendship, healthy relationship, equality, respect and acceptance should be.

SoT

[Associate of Daniel]

Thank-you all.

I've just had a rough afternoon at work trying to work with a 5 year old girl who has many physical difficulties and who we believe to be operating around the mental age of about 3.

Nothing worked. Nothing.  Even the other support workers and teachers who stepped in to help me were unable to get her to do the simplest of tasks.

She really needs more specialised care and I can't help worrying about what her life will be like.

It was a thoroughly disheartening few hours and I welled up with tears on the way home.

So to read your lovely comments above has been very comforting.  Thank-you.

AOD