Reeling post-holidays

[generator26]

Howdy!  I am an adult daughter of a father with a PD.  My mom told me when I was younger that my dad has OCPD and that does fit the bill in many ways... he has severe hoarding tendencies, made us help him put the new license plate sticker on the car every year so it fit just straight, washes over and over, etc-- all of which he thinks are normal/helpful behaviors. However, as an adult, I've become increasingly aware of his narcissistic and controlling tendencies.  Too many to say, really.

Over the thanksgiving holiday, he behaved in a couple of ways that felt like attempts to control/demean.  Following me (both around the house and then in his car), asking others where I am when I'm out of sight, calling me to see where I am when I'm not home, asking me if I'm listening to him if I'm not as responsive as he'd like or not laughing as much as he wants me to. But more troublesome- we don't have much of a physically affectionate relationship- occasional hugging, typical dad/daughter stuff.  This past week, on a few occasions, he grabbed my thigh and I asked him to stop from the first time.  Told him I did not like it. Happened again a few times... and then, on Thanksgiving, he came behind me in the kitchen and bit my shoulder. BIT. MY. SHOULDER. It was so weird, I'm still trying to process what happened. 

I can't help but see past the oddity of the behavior and try to understand his motive.  It has been distressing for me, and I began to tell a friend about it yesterday before stopping because I couldn't even get the words out.  What dad bites his adult daughter's shoulder?

Anyway... I'm curious if anyone's parent (or other loved one, I guess) has shown similarly demeaning or forcible touch, especially surrounded by other efforts to control. What did you do? Did anything help?  I'm thankful that he winters in the South so we will have distance until the summer.

[NarcKiddo]

Ewww. How unpleasant and unnerving.

What happened after the biting incident? Did you say/do anything? Did he? Was it just a bite from behind or did he grab you as well (like round the arms or waist)? I'm not sure why I am asking this, so do feel free not to answer if you prefer not to, but I guess I am wondering whether additional body language info will give more clues to this utterly weird behaviour.

My mother is uNPD, very controlling, and she has a history of inappropriate touching once sister and I hit puberty. She'd think nothing of grabbing breasts or butt. She wouldn't exactly enforce nudity around the house but she would make fun of you if you didn't go along with her ideas of when nudity, not shutting bathroom doors etc, was the correct way to behave. I never felt able to say anything about it but kept more and more physical distance, locked bathroom doors, wouldn't go shopping with her to avoid changing rooms, make sure I take clothing to and from bathrooms when in her house so I can change behind a locked door. She has got less bad physically (she is now in her 70s) but I am not sure if that is due to her or due to my years of grey rock and physical distancing whenever possible.