Pretentious Pronunciations?

[Call Me Cordelia]

My mother and my MIL both did this, and both have undiagnosed Cluster B personality disorders, so maybe this is a "tell"?

They would try to pretend they were higher class than they really were, and just looked silly, in a lot of ways, but in particular how they pronounced words. It wasn't a vase, it was a VAHZ, although nobody else in our lives said it that way. Those curtains are damask, pronounced "da mosque." MiL would be horrified, but because they are not curtains, they're DRAPERIES! HER draperies are from Ralph LauREN. Sure, MIL, ok, I saw those at TJMaxx too, but Ralph's an American, as are you, and LAUren will do. There were many more examples but I think you get the picture.

So what do you think? Is this a PD thing?

[Associate of Daniel]

Possibly. They do like to look more intelligent and of a higher "class" than anyone else.

My uNPD exH sometimes uses big words in such a way that indicates he actually has no clue what they mean.

It's hard not to laugh when he does it.

I remember when he and I first got together, he laughed at me for pronouncing broccoli as broccol-eye.  I didn't know any better and still don't know the correct way to pronounce it.

But he wasn't offended by my mis(?)pronunciation.   He just thought it was funny.

What is the correct pronunciation of broccoli anyway?  Maybe we should start another thread....

AOD

[Call Me Cordelia]

I've always said, "brocklee!" But now I wonder too.

It's indubitably preposterous to utilize highfalutin nomenclature while lacking comprehension of its precise denotation. 

You might enjoy Rudyard Kipling! The story of how the rhinoceros got his skin is full of these misapplications of vocabulary, but close enough that it's really funny. It sounds like your ex does something similar, but unconsciously.

[Associate of Daniel]

Hilarious CmeC!!!

Made my day.

I must admit I've not read any Kipling.  I should put it on my list for next year.

AOD

[Rose1]

If anyone has seen Mrs Bucket (bookay) on keeping up appearances you will understand why I can't watch it because it reminds me of exmil. Undiagnosed bpd 

[Catothecat]

Wanting to show how much "better" they are than others including having class pretentions was typical for the NPDs in my life, Cordelia.  They most definitely needed to find a way to show this perceived superiority and I can easily see how pronunciations of words and other affections would suit this need, especially when they didn't have anything more substantial as "proof."

A NPD friend would deliberately misrepresent the college he graduated from, just saying the first part of the name so you thought he graduated from a prestigious university.  Once he showed me his resume and on the resume he included the rest of the college name and it was actually some small college no one besides its graduates ever heard of.   But this is another example of how PDs sometimes try to create a false, favorable (and superior to you) impression.

[Penny Lane]

Omg yes to the pronunciations and to using big words that she clearly doesn't understand. When the kids were younger she would (sometimes wrongly) "correct" their pronunciations when they were on speakerphone. So many eye rolls between me and DH.

[NarcKiddo]

Hah! Another weirdness I thought was particular to my mother. She does not do it to show her superiority, I don't think, as she just assumes that will shine through. But if she can find a weird way to pronounce a word, especially a foreign word, she will, even if the word is in common usage over here and pronounced differently. The latest example is when she was talking about someone with Titian hair. It couldn't be pronounced as the Brits do (as in the end of the word "partition"), it had to be TEETS-ee-yan.

Although Ralph Lauren is always pronounced LauREN where I live and I had no idea there is any other way!

And broccoli is BROCK-uh-lee.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Brits do pronounce Ralph Lauren that way, it's true. You are the exotic ones to us Yanks!

A lot of this is about the lack of context/reason for saying things the way they do. Language is a socially acquired skill. For my mother and MiL it gets to be a willful ignorance. You can't tell mom that "marina" is "marEEna," and not like marinara sauce. They are right and everyone else is wrong! They cling to their errors rather than face the possibility of being incorrect.

...which gets them criticized all the more.

The downmarket college is the same as my MiL's downmarket designer curtains. 

[Andeza]

Mhmm, MIL's particular quirk was trying to focus on her French heritage, decorate in French designs, and use the French terminology whenever she could. I was an English major in college so still frequently would insist on the correct pronunciation of certain words over whatever she *thought* was correct. But I'm a language purist to a degree, so that bit's on me.

[Cat of the Canals]

I'm kind of surprised PDmom doesn't do this. She's pretentious in just about every other way. Very snobby about food, books, movies. And whatever book she just read, watch out: you're going to get a 15 minute lecture on the subject in a tone of voice that suggests she thinks she's actually an expert worthy of your complete attention.

PDmil is kind of the opposite of pretentious. Nice things are for the "independently wealthy," and she is very bitter about it.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Omg that phrase, "independently wealthy!" I have never heard anyone but my mother use that! She was weird like that too... part of my being discarded was that DH and I apparently had more money than she and uNF. (We didn't I don't think, just didn't blow it on stupid stuff.) She continually tried to take me down a peg or two because I appreciated things like good food and wine. What's wrong with Mickey D's, Cordelia? I didn't say anything about Mickey D's, just that cassoulet is delicious.

I think it's still a form of pretension, just more akin to the Russian intelligentsia's, "Oh I'm so of the people, look at me not wash my armpits. Hygiene is bourgeoisie." It's a false humility. But with my mother it coexisted with the verbal... snobbery? 

[Associate of Daniel]

It seems we've found another common element of pd land.

And it looks like I'm outnumbered on the pronunciation of broccoli!

AOD

[looloo]

All the people in my life who I'd describe as Ns:

Mother: pronounced France "Frahhnce" - she was born in New York and grew up in Ohio 😒.  Also called a dog leash a "lead" (I think this is a Brit thing)

Family friend originally from New Jersey pronounced "salmon" "SAHHMon". Also, one Christmas when she'd decorated the table with French-themed popper noisemakers, and I asked her to translate what mine said, she just told me dismissively, "Everyone at the table speaks French."  Um, NO, not everyone.  Me, for one.  Also, your kids.  French camp for a few weeks in their teens doesn't count.

Ex MIL: would refer to the brass fixtures in her home as "gold".  As in, "Make sure to wipe the water spots off the GOLD!"  😆. Sure thing, right away.

Rose1, I think Keeping Up Appearances is hilarious.  She's a comedian every bit as wonderful as Lucille Ball, and she's always the butt of the joke, always at the mercy of the flawed, but sane, people around her.

[Rose1]

Looloo. It is hilarious but makes me cringe because so true to type. We met the actor who played her disreputable brother in law Onslow once. That was a hoot

[looloo]

Rose1, that must've been something!  The whole cast was terrific.

[Cat of the Canals]

Omg that phrase, "independently wealthy!" I have never heard anyone but my mother use that! She was weird like that too... part of my being discarded was that DH and I apparently had more money than she and uNF. (We didn't I don't think, just didn't blow it on stupid stuff.) She continually tried to take me down a peg or two because I appreciated things like good food and wine. What's wrong with Mickey D's, Cordelia? I didn't say anything about Mickey D's, just that cassoulet is delicious.

Yep, MIL has a HUGE chip on her shoulder about money. And incidentally, her husband's brother happens to be quite wealthy. God, she hates her in-laws with a fiery passion.

She told us a story during her visit, about how wealthy BIL's wife asked if they get Amazon deliveries from the Amazon branded trucks. MIL's response was an icy, "No, us country bumpkins just get the regular deliveries."

She is convinced that everything out of her SIL's mouth is a dig at how they're poor, rural hicks. Meanwhile, it sounds to me like the woman is simply trying to make conversation.

H has learned not to mention anything remotely related to money (not that we want her knowing much about our financials anyway). He mentioned buying stocks once, and she said, "OH." and then went dead silent (rare, for her). I think it makes her wildly uncomfortable that H is financially independent (if not independently wealthy, lol).

[countrygirl]

Hi Cordelia and your other respondents!

I was just hopping on here to address another possibly common behavior, when I saw this thread.  I was going to write about a PD friend who's very competitive, but reading about all of these pretentious pronunciations and behaviors made me think of her too.   For example, she has always said PIE-ah-no for piano.  I guess the word "piano" is of Italian extraction, so maybe she's trying to give it an Italian pronunciation?  I don't know, but I do know that I've never heard anyone say PIE-ah-no for piano.  I wondered how she would pronounce pianist and, sure enough, she pronounces it PIE-ah-noist.   

She is always correcting my pronunciations of things.  I never point out to her that she frequently uses "double negatives."  So often she has said,  "I can't hardly believe so-and-so."  I don't want to hurt her feelings.  Recently she even corrected my pronunciation of a pop singer's name, but I had just seen this woman taking about herself on a TV show, and knew how SHE pronounced it.  I could give countless other examples.

By the way,  "Keeping up Appearances," with Mrs. Bucket is hilarious.  The writers really nailed Hyacinth's pretentiousness.   

[Fiasco]

Wow I can't believe this is a thing! The one that comes immediately to mind is BPDm insists on pronouncing couscous (which I pronounce koos koos) as "koos kooo". Hubby and I cook this pretty often and love to ask each other how is your KOOS KOO? Isn't this KOOS KOO wonderful? lol

Her other mis-pronunciations are a delightful combination of intentional (usually mispronouncing a name to show how little the person means to her) or a clumsy attempt so use foreign accents.

[olivegirl]

My arrogant NpdF feigns being unable to understand my pronunciation of words, as if I am I saying a word wrong or selecting the wrong word altogether,

He will give me a snide smirk and then state:  "I have no idea what you communicating."

Everyone else will of course understand what I am saying!

When he is particularly obnoxious, I would call him out and then he'd reply with "stop being so defensive.  No one can say anything to you."  Accompanied by a look of annoyance and/or disdain.

I can see it is very important for him to stabilize his self-esteem by acting superior.