Greetings! I’m new here looking for help

[Glacier]

Hello,

There is someone very close to me who I believe has BPD as everything on the list resonates with what I have experienced.

Saturday night this family member exploded in a rage after being happy all night. It came out of nowhere and she seemed to disassociate thinking my husband was the person who had abused her and was addressing him with a different name. We thought it might have been a PTSD flashback and maybe it was but after reading the description of BPD she displays many of the behaviors that we have seen over the last ten years.

It was so frightening with her screaming obscenities at us for 45 minutes with her own child (14) cowering in the bathroom telling us to call the cops on her.

We ended up deescalating her behaviors enough to put her in an Uber with her kids to get safely home.

I am still left with the image of her 14 year old crying and saying she didn't want to leave with her mom.

I am looking forward to reading everything I can to learn about how to support her and her kids while also establishing safety boundaries for my own kids.

Glad to learn from you all.
-G

[blunk]

Welcome Glacier!

I am so sorry that you had to experience this. And I am so sorry for this person's children, that must have been horrifying to experience.

You will find a wealth of information in the toolbox tab about PDs and how to cope with those in our lives who have them. In addition the members here are so very supportive and knowledgeable. When you are ready, please feel free to share more of your story on whichever of the boards you feel best fits with your situation.

[Gwendolyn]

Welcome Glacier

Please keep coming back to the forum and reading through the toolbox and the posts   Also please  take good care of yourself.  You witnessed a very traumatic events and you are rightly concerned for your niece.  Even as family tramas and flare-ups unfold, we owe it to our loved ones around us to provide the peace, love,  comfort and stability of a happy homelike... becoming endlessly enmeshed or constantly reliving scenarios can rob our minds of the time and space required for clearer thinking.

I'm supposing your neice has seen this type of behavior before... it seems like many of us here have shared similar stories even. And that is sad proof that while miserable and unfair,  these episodes are survivable.

So knowing what you now know you can take time to think and learn and decide your next steps....if any.

Wish it was easier for you right now.   It's very hard to know how to proceed or act in these situations.  I'd say it might be worth checking in vaguely to see how the holidays are going and what sister is up to for NYE.

There's always the chance she's going to play dumb and/or was in a blackout when the flare-up occurred.   And sometimes allowing the PD loved one the dignity of a blind eye for bad behavior is what it takes to maintain access to the neices and nephews.. Bitter reality..

Will be thinking of you and your situation.

Gwendolyn

[Gwendolyn]

Ps.  I realize I mixed up sister and niece with "acquaintance and 14 year old" but the message is the same..take good care of your own family and see what comes to you as a sensible next step..if any.

Hugs
Gwendolyn