Feeling Crazy

[Feelingcrazy]

Hi everyone, I have been in a relationship for 4 years with a man who was diagnosed with a PD. I have been going to therapy for myself and have found that I am starting to wake up to the abuse and realizing the abuse and craziness of the relationship. He isn't the same person I fell for and I don't even think that person exists. He makes me feel like im the problem and when I try to bring up my own feelings he turns it. He has severe anger problems more like rage, he manipulates, he cant be alone. Theres just so many issues. He is also an addict and this has played a role in the abuse as well and what I blamed it on but now that he has been sober he is still abusive. His anger recently changed and he threw his keys at me and hit me with them out of anger. I am here just looking for support I feel like I'm going crazy being around this man. I need support from people that understand. I feel alone in this.

[bloomie]

Feelingcrazy - Hi and welcome to Out of the FOG. The combination of PD and addiction is a labyrinth and a house of mirrors all at the same time. That you are finding your way to help and support, both in real life and here, and recognizing abusive, destructive behaviors in your partner and the detrimental impact this is having on you is very wise. There is very little more crazy making then that!

Planning for and keeping yourself safe seems like the first step in this healing journey. Make good use of the resources that are both linked in user's response and at the drop down menus above.

We are and listening when you are ready to share and join the conversations on the forum boards. Let us know how you are when you are able.

[Stillnothealed]

Feelingcrazy -

That sounds really stressful and I'm so sorry he's doing these things to make you feel like you're crazy.

First and foremost, your feelings are real and they are valid even if he doesn't want to see or acknowledge them. It sounds like maybe you are not going to be able convince him that he is hurting you or at least get him to be forthcoming with the fact that he knows that he is hurting you.

I think the fact that he's also escalated the situation to physical abuse is really scary. Like bloomie said, I would heed user's advice.

Keep yourself safe first and know everything you are feeling and experiencing is real.