Newbie

[Carrieon64]

Good day everyone. I am brand new here. Old enough to know better... was in a very abusive marriage with a classic narcissist. Left 9 years ago. I was alone for 4 years. Connected with an old work acquaintance (he is a cop). We started seeing each other. Long story short - i thought I had healed. I thought I figured things out. I recently woke up to how abusive he has been. So utterly manipulative and subtly threatening, that he knew my triggers really well. I have tried to leave 5 times. He stalked me, came into my home and went through my things, had me followed and god know what else. So I stayed. Because deep down I was too scared to leave.
I am done. 100 percent done. I have called my lawyer. I have a ton of family and friend support around me. I am shocked how much of a fog I have been living in.

[SonofThunder]

Hello to you Carrieon64,

First, a very warm welcome to Out of the FOG!  This place is overflowing with kind people from all over the world, so glad to now have you walking the same trails alongside us.

Im sorry you are experiencing these behaviors in the past and now from your current partner. Im joyed to read that you have finally woken up to the abusive behaviors.  You are a very brave person, and I tip my hat to you in your courage with self protecting yourself at this time, despite your fear.  You are TRULY not alone as there are others here who also have made bold self-protective decisions in the face of being scared. 

I always recommend new members visit the Personality Disorders tab at the top and the top 100 traits list in the drop-down.  Start aligning the terminology there with the traits you experience, to familiarize yourself and possibly privately journal about your experiences and how they fit with the terms.  Those terms may assist you in further understanding and discussion here at Out of the FOG. 

At the same time, just to the right of that tab, see the Toolbox tab. That tab is where you want to deeply drive your tent posts and begin to camp there, absorbing the provided materials.

We always leave chairs open around the campfire discussions at the forum boards.  Please make yourself at home, kick off your weary hiking boots and rest your tired feet around the friendly fires of topical conversation.  See you around the boards!

SoT

[notrightinthehead]

Just want to add my welcome. I am glad you found us. The realization that we have a faulty red flag detector hits hard. I hope you will join us on our journey to healing and look forward to your posts.

[SonofThunder]

If it were easy to spot this, the millions of Narcissists around the world would mostly be single.

🤣🤣🤣 hahaha #truth!  Touché user!

SoT