Hello! Room for one more? :)

[KyrieEleison]

Hi there!

I'm happy to meet you, although we both find ourselves as members of a painful club that we didn't want to join. Yet, here we are. Sending hugs to everyone.

First time here, but I have been feeling invisible, unseen and invalidated in my family  for a very long time.

I'm currently VLC but closer to NC for around 2 years from parents, sibling and extended family (flying monkeys).

I'm stuck in that awkward confusion state of:

Are they really THAT bad?

I love them but I don't want to be around them.

The guilt is overwhelming. I don't want to be a bad daughter.

I miss the good (superficial) times. Maybe I'm asking for too much?

I don't want to hurt anyone and I feel terrible for seriously distancing myself.

They aren't cognitively aware of what they're doing. It's not fair to "punish" them.

But....the status quo no longer works for me.

But....

But....

Sound familiar? I'm sure I'm in good company. 💕

I recently started therapy and I pray that I find the answers and guidance on how best to move forward.

Peace to you all. I look forward to connecting with you in the boards.

[bloomie]

Welcome KyrieEleison! (love your forum name so very much!)

So glad you joined this group of fellow travelers. It is a long journey finding our way through the toxic behaviors and attitudes displayed toward us in our FOO. Discovering what works for us, even prioritizing what works for us, requires we face what is the truth of our experiences from those we believed for a very long time we couldn't live without.

I, for one, could not have done that without a network of support and this community in specific. Knowing we are seen, heard, understood by a community that understands and empathizes with our plight has been a great ease of a heavy load.

I hope you will find that to be true for you as well in your time here. I believe that when we are sincerely looking for answers we will find them. We will try them out and it might be baby steps and at times clouded with self doubt, grief, and relief all at once, but we will find firm ground for under our feet.

Keep seeking and building a toolset, support network, and keep coming back! See you out there on the forum boards!