I have been going to a form of AA

[Prototypian]

I have had major depressive disorder for a long time and that led to unhealthy self harm ideation.   Much of this is related to my spouse but the self harm ideation is dangerous and has had me in inpatient hospitalization more than once.

I do not drink more than perhaps once or twice a year at events like thanksgiving or new years eve and then my tolerance is half a glass of wine or champagne.   I have also never used any form of recreational drugs.

But my counselor helped me find a program that is a form of 12 step based on AA for people with an addiction to self harm ideation. 

It's very similar to the AA format and is based on it.

As I've gone through it I wonder if such a format for self action and healing might be possible for someone in a relationship with a PD person.   I don't mean for everyone.  I mean for someone like me who stays and stays in the emotionally abusive relationship.  The program gave me strength against self harm ideation for over 11 months now and I go to meetings just like an alcoholic. 

I wonder if there could be a form of AA for people too invested in their relationships with PD partners.   Strange idea but I just wonder.

[notrightinthehead]

CoDA is what you might be looking for. It's for people who are co-dependent and can't leave unhealthy relationship even when they know they're bad for them.

So glad that you are still fighting and haven't given up yet.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I second what Not Right suggests -- CoDA. Also Adult Children of Alcoholic or Dysfunctional Parents. It's really helpful to find meetings with some members who have solid, long-term recovery. 

There are also 12 step programs for people with relationship addictions.  I'm not up on the latest resources, but I always remember the groundbreaking "Facing Love Addiction" by Pia Melody.  I knew nothing about this stuff before reading that.  It was a real eye opener.  I'm sure there are many great books and resources that are more up-to-date if you google "love addiction."

I, too, attend 12 step meetings weekly.  They've been wonderful for me.  Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope, JJ.

[notrightinthehead]

user you might find something here

https://coda.org/find-a-meeting/

[SaddleBagger]

Al-Anon is extremely helpful and was developed practically in tandem with AA and uses the same steps. Because much of alcoholic behavior is similar to PD many members of Al-Anon are used to dealing with similar problems in their relationships and have tons of good insight as to how to deal.