Focus on Yourself

[Inbetweenthisandthat]

It is important for YOU to remain YOU in your relationship.

You "WIN" by not playing their games, by not taking the bait, by not changing who you are, by setting boundaries, and by maintaining friends and family. For myself I keep the mood light with friends and family and I feel ever so much better. They become my happy island where I can go for a "vacation" for a few hours to recharge. Having 1 friend to unburden with also works for me but when we are in a group, it is happy time. You partner most likely will want to limit your time with others. Stay true to yourself. Their your friends. Your family. Don't let them go. Hold onto them tightly.

Doesn't hurt to look at yourself in the mirror from time to time and see if you are changing and make sure you know how to "find yourself again".

You can not change your partner. You can not heal your partner.

You "WIN" by focusing on yourself because if you don't you will find yourself "Mirroring" your partner. You will have their anxiety, their hypervigilance, their abandonment anxiety, and the sunny days will become long and cold.

Make sure if you haven't already, keeping your finances separate. It may take some time to build a small "safety net".

You have your best interests at heart. If you aren't going to take care of yourself then who is???

If you share children the best thing you can do, in my opinion, don't share you negative thoughts about your partner but instead show them the best of you. Teach them by example. Like everyone, they have to make their own choices and we as parents need accept that even if it means they chose their PD parent over us.

You are important! You have value!

Unfortunately, they have to control you and in their way to destroy you. They are compelled to repeat the same relationship cycle over and over again. Believe me, it is not you. None of this is your fault. Stay strong. Stay safe. Stay yourself.

Focus on you, don't lose yourself.

One last note. I am not a victim. I opened the door. I knew there were red flags. She was just the partner of my dreams. Now I pay the price and start the long journey back to me. Regaining lost friends and family. Take care everyone. Safe journey.