Not sure how common this is

[Srcyu]

When I became engaged many moons ago, mother held a tea party for her church friends in order to display the gifts my husband-to-be and I had been given.
There were a set of towels that really caught her eye. She gleefully pointed out to me that they were an expensive brand.

Soon after, she and my enabling father went on a caravan (trailer) holiday.
She informed me that she would be borrowing my set of towels to take with her on holiday.
Her excuse being that I had stored my gifts in her house, therefore she was entitled.

I just let it happen, the fawn surrounded by fog as I was.

When they returned, she laundered the towels and handed them back. She said something else to convey the message that  she had done nothing wrong. Can't remember what it was.

Unbelievable now when I think about it. Has this sort of thing happened to anyone else?

[Rose1]

Ex mil unpacked all our wedding gifts. Because they took them home for us. She didn't leave the cards in about 20 so we were never able to find out who gave them to us.

Exbpdh didn't seem to have a problem with the explanation.

This all started to happen after the wedding.

[NarcKiddo]

My mother displays similar forms of entitlement. A typical example was a couple of years ago when I won a competition run by my dentist on social media. It was just a simple competition to guess the number of decorations on the surgery Christmas tree. The prize was a big tray of dental products - floss, lots of toothpaste tubes and such like. I was visiting my family after a trip to the dentist when I collected my prize. I took the prize in to show my mother because I never win anything and I was really pleased to have won it.

I said "Look what I have just won" and before I could get another word out she plunged her hand into the tray, grabbed about half of the contents, and said "Oh good, I can give these as Christmas gifts".

I would have shared the items anyway but the grabbing without asking really grated.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Those are some lame Christmas gifts. Just sayin'.

I believe the tea party to display the gifts is a Southern thing? I feel uncomfortable with it, personally. Is it really anyone's business what other people give? But I guess when one grows up with all things related to gift-giving being weaponized and dramatized and milked for all it's worth and then some, it may make one a bit touchy about it all.

My mother did not actually take my wedding presents, but she certainly felt entitled to "help" me make my registry and try to dictate what I could and could not put on it. My MiL did the same. But they didn't agree at all on what was an acceptable gift registry. So I ended up with separate ones for each side of the family and quietly returning a lot of duplicates.

They did not outright take my stuff since I became an adult. (I officially owned nothing as a teenager, it was all THEIRS, even my clothing.) But many times my mother admired a thing I had and then immediately bought herself the same thing but a more expensive version of it. This seems like a related behavior.

[Srcyu]

Thanks for your replies.
Rose 1.    That's such a terrible thing to do, rude and weird. It was an intrusion and a boundary breaker. I would have been extremely shocked by that.

NarcKiddo.     Well done, for winning what sounded like a really nice competition. She just had to go and ruin it. Straight in with her selfish and greedy hand.
I once received some cash in a birthday card from an aunt. She always combined my birthday and Christmas together so I was pleased and showed mother ... without even blinking she said, 'that will pay for your haircut.' She may as well have just snatched out of my hand 12 year old hand.

Cordelia.    A southern thing? No, I don't think so. I'm in the UK. It's a working class thing I would say and it probably originated in the 1950's which was the time frame my parents were firmly stuck in.
Mother also craved anything nice that I had as an adult (I had nothing nice before then). My engagement ring of all things. My dad bought her a new one to keep her happy.

[Catothecat]

My ex-mil actually took some of our wedding presents.  She told us they were "too valuable" to be kept at our apartment so she would keep them for us, where they'd be "safe."  We never got them back.  Of course, my uNPD exh went along with her because she was his perfect mother, who always had the best judgment and never did anything wrong.  Her entitlement to my life and the direction of it was something he co-signed.  However, in retrospect I suspect he went along with her mainly because she was just one more weapon in his arsenal of manipulations and controls.  She was useful to him in his attempts to keep me "in line."

I don't think he gave a damn about the presents.  What he actually cared about was letting me know I was entitled to nothing and he was willing to use his family to achieve his ends.  And that was one messed up family.

[Cat of the Canals]

Even in childhood, my mother would routinely give my things away to other kids if she thought it would make her look good. And she still does it.

A few years back, I got out the ONE item I requested and received when my grandmother died -- a fur coat. Honestly, I only really asked for it because I was about 17 at the time and thought owning a fur coat would be funny. But no one else wanted it, so I got it.

Anyway, I pulled it out of the closet, and my mother insisted my sister-in-law try it on, because she's "about the same size" my grandma was. My grandmother was quite small and petite, but I'm no giant. The coat fits me fine.

SIL put on the coat, and in her usual melodramatic fashion, PDmom gasped and said, "Oh, it fits you perfectly! You have to take it!"

My SIL clearly had no interest in this ridiculous coat, but my mom can't resist an opportunity to fawn and lovebomb.

[Srcyu]

Catothecat
That was such an appalling thing to do. It is all about control, you are right.
I received the,'you are entitled to nothing' message too from mother.

Actually, we are entitled to be happy. That was the biggest thing they stole from us.

Cat of the canals,
Your mother must have seen a whole new value to the coat simply because you were prepared to take it.
I can recall my dolls house being given away to a little girl at the church without my agreement. Fortunately, over the following years I had nothing else worth her efforts to look generous with, they would not have remained mine if I did.