Reaching out to DS

[losingmyself]

The other day, between Christmas and New Years, my NBPXH sent DS a text. DS is the only one who hasn't blocked him, I suppose mostly out of curiosity to see if he'd reach out. The text read something to the idea that he heard I lost weight, and he hoped it wasn't because of my cancer. Also he heard that I broke my hip, and he 'hopes and prays' that I'm doing ok.
It's almost laughable because he couldn't care less, I'm sure.
I had just ran into a cousin of mine who sees his family at breakfast,  and she told me that he started saying bad things about me to her and her H. Then I hear about this 'caring' text he sent.
Funny.
We had a few good laughs about responses, my kids are very smart and witty, but we all decided no response is best.
I'm amazed at how single minded he is to think that I will hear about this text, but not hear about the things he says to people we know.
I don't want to say he has a mental disorder,  but something ain't right there!
I think he's just sad and lonely, and that's his own fault! Meanwhile, I am calm, peaceful and happy!
Happy New Year,  my friends! May this year be full of peace and happiness and healing! I love you all! ❤️

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I'm so glad you're happy and peaceful, LosingMyself, while in the midst of manipulation by the ex.  And especially if it's in the face of major health challenges.  It sounds like you have a great relationship with your smart and supportive kids.

Thanks for sharing.  It's inspiring to read about!

[bloomie]

losingmyself - I am also inspired by your resilience and ability to not allow this to cast a specter over your good and valuable life. Wishing you good health and peace in the New Year! Thank you for sharing this!

[losingmyself]

Thanks for your kind words! I am happy!
My kids and I were talking about this text last night, and DS kept asking why XH would send this?? What was the point??
I read it again, and the one sentence that was the whole point of the text was this
"Not bad for an abuser,hu?"
That was it. He could have just written "Hey, I'm not an abuser" and that could have been the whole text.
In one of my divorce responses to his b.s. filings, I had to say that my kids and I lived in an abusive house. I didn't elaborate,  I just said that.
Maybe he stewed on it for the last months, or maybe he just finally got around to reading it. Either way...
So, I told the kids that that was the point.
Interesting to see this personality style for what it is.

[Breadroll]

The super nice wishes via text- bit of a theme. Wonder if it is simply to impress a bystander of how nice they are, in the moment?

Ex Npdh texted me a happy new year in flowery language. It immediately set alarm bells off as it's been quite a while. I didn't reply - but have info that  he has found god.  Speechless.

Thanks for sharing your experience- it helped me to be able to express this somewhere ( I no longer confide in friends about what they see " nothing")

And a genuine happy new year to Out of the FOG 🎉