Hello!

[ThirdMonkey]

Hi all

Thankfully, I stumbled upon this and the Out of the Storm (OOTS) websites.  I was scouring forums for book recommendations to assist with my recovery from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and someone mentioned that Out of the FOG and OOTS were great resources. 

I grew up with an absent father, an abusive stepfather, and a borderline/narcissistic mother.  My childhood was very emotionally chaotic, to say the least.  It has led me down the path of addiction and self-destructive behaviors, which I am currently in recovery from.  I have been NC with my mother for the past ten years or so, but I still feel just as stuck as if she were still a part of my day-to-day life.  I am only now beginning to realize and address the complexity of my childhood and the effect that it has had on my adult life. 

My experience has felt very confusing and isolating. I am hoping this community can help to bring connection and understanding. I look forward to getting connected! 

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group thirdmonkey-

we have many members that post at both communities and i hope both are helpful to you as you move through the recovery process.  as a person who has been NC with my biological mother 30 years, the two best things learned are that grief is not linear, and this is a marathon, not a sprint.  kind of like peeling the layers of an onion- it stings and you cry but you have to just keep going.

when you're ready to share more about your childhood, we're listening.  until then be gentle with yourself.

[bloomie]

Adding another warm welcome to you, ThirdMonkey! I am so sorry for the experiences that brought you here, but thankful you have found this supportive community as well as Out of the Storm.

I look forward to your participation when you are ready! In the meantime, settle in and look around! You are not alone!

[Cambria]

Hello and welcome, I am also new to this site but feeling a bit scared to post a welcome thread with my background. But your story resonates with me because I also had a father who was absent most of each year due to work and inattentive when he was around. I only recently found my mother displays all the signs of narcissist and borderline personality disorders. It was very hard growing up I understand that completely. My brother was exactly like my mom. It is so hard to find people who understand the weight and pressure of growing up and being manipulated in all those ways and the crazy lengths we have to go to to survive and all the ways they break our minds and isolate us from ever being believed, from ever having a chance in this life.Your post is the first post I have responded to and I want you to know I value those words you wrote because I have been afraid of being the only one, of being crazy because my family made me believe that I am a liar and I should never speak about these things.  Thank-you for joining, I've always been afraid to ever write on any forum or even create social media accounts. So, this is my first time posting and I am feeling a little less crazy. 🙂 I tried to run away many times and go with no communication to my family but they would do all kinds of crazy things, threaten me and call the police on me and when that didn't work they would guilt me and act super nice and they would lie to get me back home where the torture would continue and my privacy and freedom would be revoked while I was an adult even. They withheld my medications and laughed at me for being diagnosed with CPTSD and said that I'm just a liar and no one gets trauma from their family...they refused to take the blame for any of the physical and mental health issues I ended up with because of their abuse. It was so confusing how they could pretend to be one way whenever other people were around and just shift into monsters towards me, and then deny they did anything! I tried to get free, I became isolated without any friends at all now. It's a hectic cycle and I haven't completely escaped their hold....I am sorry that this is a very long post, but I thank-you for sharing a little about yourself because I can relate and so I don't feel so crazy, it's not only me. I'm not alone with this burden, you're not alone with this burden. We are all connected on this site therefore the narcissists can't make us believe we are crazy and isolate us and break us.  I have come to support whoever I can because I know the pain, and I am still a target knowing they are still plotting how to destroy me and my husband and children's lives, but I could no longer sit around crying and ruining myself because of the past and present, I want to support and help who I can.And I want to be heard (not sure when because my story is very long and painful) in case anyone else feels crazy and sees we went through similar things. I thank-you for making me feel safe enough to respond to your post.I hope I don't seem crazy writing so much.🥲