Weird wedding hoover

Call Me Cordelia · July 29, 2024, 04:04:33 PM

My dear husband has been informed that he's being invited to a family member's wedding. He's invited but not me lol. (I chose to be NC with his parents only. The almost all the rest of the family chose to close ranks and shun me and DH both.) The wedding is weeks away. (Urgency!) On the other side of the country. (Commitment!) The family member getting married and my DH have not spoken in years. (Awkward!) And he does not in fact have the invitation yet. (Triangulation!) Anybody else seeing the neon signs reading, "It's a trap!"

This is just the weirdest hoover if you think about it for half a minute. If the "prodigal" were to return, it wouldn't be at someone else's wedding! I'm sure the bride marrying into the family would love that drama!

moglow · July 29, 2024, 06:39:15 PM

I get real basic on things like this: Since when is it proper etiquette to invite only one of a married couple? That's just not fine, ever. He's "been invited" but no invitation has been received? Drama much, dh family?

Call me skeptical and I will answer!

treesgrowslowly · July 30, 2024, 07:08:00 AM

All hoovers are dysfunctional. Inviting some people and excluding others is a favorite party game in my messed up FOO as well. They didn't see anything wrong with messed up stuff like only inviting one person from a couple.

Narcissists use events like this (weddings, birthdays, holidays, funerals) to stir things up. Ick. Just a huge ick factor of 10 / 10. They can have the award for weirdest hoover of the summer. Sorry you have to deal with this Cordelia.

Trees

bloomie · July 30, 2024, 09:11:23 AM

PD Bingo: social events that may, or may not ever even happen, weaponized.✔️
You can now block this square off your card, Call Me Cordelia!

Seriously!!! Just intentionally rude. I agree with you 100%! It's a trap! I'm sorry!

Call Me Cordelia · July 30, 2024, 12:55:34 PM

It arrived, via UPS. Gosh, it must be super important!

bloomie · July 30, 2024, 01:02:49 PM

Quote from: Call Me Cordelia on July 30, 2024, 12:55:34 PMIt arrived, via UPS. Gosh, it must be super important!

Oh, wow! So odd.

notrightinthehead · July 31, 2024, 01:43:21 AM

PD families are always good for some drama. How boring our lives would be otherwise!

Call Me Cordelia · July 31, 2024, 07:01:50 AM

Hah true. Some day I would like to not feel the need to run these bizarre things past my Out of the FOG crew, but for now I really appreciate it. Because, this is totally weird... right? Right...?

Right, okay just checking. Please somebody tell me I'm the normal one.

FWIW my name was on the thing after all but it's still weird. And now I'm opting out of my DH's, "What exactly should I say?" Whatever you want to, dear!

NarcKiddo · July 31, 2024, 12:14:18 PM

Quote from: Call Me Cordelia on July 31, 2024, 07:01:50 AMFWIW my name was on the thing after all but it's still weird.

Ohhhh. So that's the game. They knew your name would have to go on it for form's sake. So it was. But they have made it known that they don't really want you to go. So if you don't go they can rejoice to themselves that they got their way and kept you out. If you do go it will confirm them in their view that you are a cussed no-good who gatecrashes occasions where you are not wanted. They can then rejoice to themselves that they knew this fine well and did what they could to keep you out, but there's only so much anyone can do, right? Right.

Either way, they find a way to win in their eyes.

Yes, it is weird. Yes, you are the normal one.

moglow · July 31, 2024, 01:10:03 PM

UPS delivery?? What in the what? I've never heard of that one. Some truly do live out in bizarro world, huh?