Alternating GC and Scapegoat?

[TimetoHeal]

Hi, there.  I looked for a similar topic before I posted, but couldn't find one.  Has anybody had the experience of being raised by a NPD mother who alternates treating you as the GC and Scapegoat?  Most things I read say we are usually one or the other.  I feel like my mom always played me and my brother off of each other, and treated one or the other better or worse depending on who was doing her bidding the most.  She always triangulates and tells me the things that piss her off about my brother, but I am quite sure she does the same about me to him.  Also, he seems the most like the GC, because he is a lot like my mom in many ways.  Whenever she needs "help" or "care", I am the one she turns to because I live closer, and also because my brother "has a family and a job and is too busy".  Hmmmm, I have a family and a job, but I guess because I am divorced my family is not real, and because I am female, my job doesn't count.  When I was younger I was definitely the black sheep because I rebelled and spoke out against the abuse.  Anyway, I just get confused sometimes, as my role in the family has seemed to change over the years.  Anyone else?

[SeaBreeze]

My uNPD mother tried to make me her GC mini-me, and my brother the SG who was "just like your father!!!". But we rebelled entirely too much against those roles, and she could switch us in a heartbeat.

Similarly, my first uNPDh was his narc mom's GC. But as you have described with your mother, ex-MIL played her kids (and their spouses) off and against each other. Mother's Golden Boy could easily be dethroned and SG'ed when the mood struck, temporarily giving the crown and sceptre to a sibling or in-law until they pissed her off, then Golden Boy once again reigned supreme in narc triumph. (I got the hell out of that first marriage in just 5 years. Lol sigh)

So yes, in my experience, the assigned dysfunctional roles are not always set in stone and can change along with the primary PD's moods. Whatever can be used to control, manipulate, triangulate, and weaponized, will be used by PDs against everyone in their orbit.

[TimetoHeal]

Thanks for your reply, Sea Breeze (love your user name BTW). That makes me feel better that I am not crazy.

My ex uNPDh was the same. I think both of his parents had some PD. He was his mother's GC and his father's SG. Made him one troubled man, for sure. I stayed for 16 years even though I knew in the first year of our marriage I had made a huge mistake. Thankful for my kids who came out of it, but that time allowed for a lot of damage to be done. I'm still recovering mentally, emotionally, financially, you name it.

Thanks again for your reply!