Deleting photos

[Bdb89207]

Hi everyone,

I've been no contact with my PD parents for a few years now and it's been wonderfully liberating.

Every now and then, my phone will send me a photo memory that includes some photos of them and it can be a bitter sweet triggering experience because I think of the good times and love I still have for them, but also remember the pain I felt in nearly every exchange and interaction I had with them as well.

I've since removed all photos of them from my home, but I feel conflicted about whether or not I should delete the photos of them from my phone. It's like I really want to as the final cut off of the emotional hold, but for some reason, I fear I may regret deleting their photos.

Have any of you had this experience or encountered this delimma? How did you handle it?

[Call Me Cordelia]

I avoid even looking at my photo memories. I'm not recommending that course of action. Just you are not the only one!

When I have had a reason to not avoid looking at the photos, however, I found that my parents were barely in my photos! I think I was subconsciously protecting myself in some way.

[Blueberry Pancakes]

I have done similar in that I removed all printed photos of them from my home. I have still kept the electronic photos on my phone. They are a few years old now. We look happy. My parents are younger and healthy. I feel like I do not want to delete them just yet. I even copied them off to an external storage drive, but I know I can remove them from quick view with the swipe of my hand. I suppose it is a personal choice.   
           
Sometimes I see the images and it reminds me of how far I have come and how much has changed for me in a positive way. While it is liberating beyond anything I could have imagined, there is sadness and loss when seeing the images. I know I will delete them from my phone eventually, I guess I am just not there yet. 

[olivegirl]

I dread seeing those memories too. 

I find myself deleting those pictures as a way of honoring my boundaries! 

I lived for so long in denial, hoping and praying that they would stop scapegoating me.

Deleting those photos is my way of asserting my dignity.